


The Sweet Silver Song || An Ashton Irwin Fanfictoin

by 5sosdreaming



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: F/M, Soulmate-Identifying Timers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-02
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2018-03-16 00:00:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 42,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3466901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5sosdreaming/pseuds/5sosdreaming
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We were all born with a tattoo on our left wrist; a countdown to the exact moment we would first look into the eyes of our soul mate; and I was going to meet mine tonight, around 8. My parents were soul mates; my grandparents were too; my brother had met his a few months ago and he’d been ridiculously in love since then. Everything around me seemed to work out just the way it was supposed to but I couldn’t help but be really skeptical about the whole thing. A part of me thought that people felt like they had to spend the rest of their life with the person that stood in front of them when their timer read ‘O’ and therefor convinced themselves that they were in love. Love was more than that to me; and no tattoo was going to tell me who I had to give my heart to, that was for sure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One.

I stood in front of my floor length mirror, arms to my side and hair up in a messy bun as a heavy sigh left my lips. I turned around and grabbed the skirt that was laying on my bed before holding it against my body once again, turning to the side and trying to think about a top that would perfect the whole outfit but nothing came to my mind and I let the soft material fall to the floor before collapsing face first on my clothes-covered bed.

Today was supposed to be the most important day of my life, and I didn't seem to find anything acceptable to wear. I loved fashion and I usually had millions of ideas, the hardest thing always being to choose between the several perfectly sorted outfits that I could clearly picture in my mind; but today was different and everything in my wardrobe seemed inappropriate for some reason.

I checked the inside of my left wrist once again and my heart started beating faster as the black numbers indicated '9 hrs 58 min 31 s'; the fact that my life was going to change in less than 10 hours made my stomach twist in nervousness. I couldn't help but think that someone, not that far away from here; was probably having the same thoughts, bracing himself for the evening to come... Or maybe he wasn't, maybe he didn't care; just like I shouldn't.

We were all born with a tattoo on our left wrist; a countdown to the exact moment we would first look into the eyes of our soul mate; and I was going to meet mine tonight, around 8. My parents were soul mates; my grandparents were too; my brother had met his a few months ago and he'd been ridiculously in love since then. Everything around me seemed to work out just the way it was supposed to but I couldn't help but be really skeptical about the whole thing.

A part of me thought that people felt like they had to spend the rest of their life with the person that stood in front of them when their timer read 'O' and therefor convinced themselves that they were in love. Love was more than that to me; and no tattoo was going to tell me who I had to give my heart to, that was for sure.

I lazily got up and picked up a skater skirt, a warm sweater and a pair of tights before making my way over to the bathroom and locking the door; I made sure to not catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and simply got rid of my pajamas before hoping into the shower and waiting for the water to warm up.

I was dressed and finally satisfied with the way my hair and makeup looked when my phone started ringing on my bedside table; I grabbed it to see a picture of Greg, one of my greatest friends on the screen. I immediately picked it up and pressed the phone to my ear as a huge smile made its way to my lips.

"Hey, handsome!" I cheered and he chuckled on the other end of the line.

"Hey, single girl!" he answered on the same tone and I rolled my eyes at the nickname he'd chosen.

"You know you're still going to be able to call me that tomorrow, right?" I asked, my eyebrows raised as I waited for him to either brush it off or say something stupid, the way he always did when the subject was brought up.

"I actually wish I had recorded you every time you'd said something like that; you know, just to tease you about it once I catch you guys having cute little moments, or even having sex you know, 'cause like, we both know that's all you guys are going to be doing anyway, with your dirty mind and amazing bod-" he started rambling and I scrunched my nose in disgust before interrupting him.

"Okay, okay I get it! I swear if you called just to say stuff like that I'm going to hang up on you right now" I threatened but he laughed and the smile immediately reappeared on my face.

"Alright, no I actually called to tell you that one of my favorite local bands is playing in a kind of pub tonight and we're going!" he announced and I started jumping in my room because those were my favorite kind of nights, and I wasn't going to let a stupid timer ruin it.

"YESSS! I was hoping you'd say something like that, see there's still hope for you, maybe you're not completely wasted in your own stupidity!" I teased and he tried to defend himself for a bit before giving up and ending the phone call.

I'd spent the day writing, seeing as it was the only thing that could take my mind off of reality and I felt unbelievably good as I grabbed a beanie, a scarf and my bag and walked out of the house to meet Greg and our friend Linda in town. I entered the tiny bar called 'The Brooklyn Social' and immediately spotted my two friends who were already sat at a table; I hugged them and slid next to Linda before ordering a drink.

"So, who are we here for?" I asked Greg as I looked around the crowded room.

"A band called 5 Seconds of Summer, they're really great, you're gonna love them, even though with the amount of people here, I doubt we'll be able to see anything" he commented.

He was actually right, we didn't even see a strand of hair let alone a face; but the music was great and the atmosphere in the room was one I would happily die for. I couldn't help but thing about the place where the Beatles used to play in Liverpool, way before they became famous and I imagined that was exactly how it'd been: sweaty, loud, and crowded.

The show came to an end and we clapped and shouted for a while before sitting back down and starting mindless conversations. I anxiously checked my timer and my whole body started to shake as it now read '5 min'; I looked around, frantically searching for someone who'd look as panicked as I was but everyone seemed perfectly calm and collected.

"Don't be so nervous, you're going to be fine" Greg reassured as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and brought me to his chest. I smiled into his shirt and tried to breathe deeply but nothing seemed to help my racing heart.

"Oh wait, I'm pretty sure he's in the band, I've seen him in videos" He suddenly exclaimed as he pointed to a tall boy standing at the bar right next to us. Greg and Linda immediately got up and my friends dragged me along with them as they awkwardly approached the still sweaty and very tall man.

"Hi, you're in the band right, I'm a huge fan!" Greg said excitedly as he extended his hand toward him and waited for him to shake it, which he did with a huge smile.

"Thank you, mate, it means a lot! Did you enjoy the show tonight?" he asked and my gaze suddenly fell onto his wrist; my eyes started to grow wide as I checked my timer and compared the scrolling numbers on our skin. They were going down at the exact same rate and right as they reached 'O', an inexplicable strength forced my eyes up and I was lost in his hazel ones.

I couldn't speak anymore; my parted lips refused to move and my body didn't seem to respond either. He was taller than me and a tank top was hugging his chest, his abs evident through the black material and I had to stop myself as I started to lift my hand up in an attempt to run my fingertips down his torso. He was wearing black skinny jeans that hugged his muscular thighs and I bit my lip at the sight I had in front of me.

I slowly lifted my eyes back to his face and that's when I realized how beautiful he actually was; his forehead was mostly covered by his messy golden hair, his v-shaped jawline made him look a bit older than I was. His lips weren't too plump but they seemed really soft and I wanted to run my thumb over them to confirm my thoughts; right in the middle of his face stood a cute little button nose and I could already picture myself poking it as he scrunched it and laughed at something stupid.

I then met his gaze again, and nothing else mattered. His eyes were a beautiful hazel color and everything around me seemed to become blury; my heart started to calm down and a warm and exciting feeling started to spread in my stomach as a smile appeared on my face.

"Hi" he finally breathed, bringing us both back to reality as an awkward silence had settled around us.

"Hi" I answered, my cheeks heating up as he smiled back at me, deep dimples making their ways on his face.

"I... Huh, I'm Katy, and so... you're in the band?" I dumbly asked and I didn't know if I was supposed to extend my hand for him to shake or go ahead and kiss him until we were both out of breath.

"Yes, I am! I'm Ashton, and I'd hug you right now but I'm still really sweaty" he said apologetically before scrunching his nose in the exact way I had imagined him doing a few moments before.

"I don't really mind" I answered and the words were out of my mouth before I could actually stop them. I covered my face in embarrassment with my right hand but I soon felt slender fingers wrap around my wrist and next things I knew my whole body was comfortably pressed against his, electricity running through my veins as I could feel his palms on my back, keeping me close.

"I was hoping you'd say that" he chuckled as I circled his body with my arms and gently squeezed him against me.

"Huh alright... Should we let you two alone for a second?" Linda suddenly asked, as Ashton's grip loosened.

"No I think we're gonna be okay, I actually have to go but huh... Can we have lunch together tomorrow?" he asked, his right hand finding mine as he laced our fingers together in a natural gesture. I looked down at where our body connected and blushed deeply before nodding my head and looking at him again.

"Here? At 12? He asked, a genuine smile on his face. I squeezed his fingers in response and he took a step toward me before taking my chin in-between his thumb and forefinger; he started to slowly lean in and my breath hitched in my throat as I prepared myself for what was about to happen but he suddenly turned his head and his lips landed on my left cheek making my heart melt and my mind cry.

"See you tomorrow, beautiful" he murmured. He then pulled away and flashed me a breathtaking smile before turning around and disappearing in the sea of people; leaving me dazzled, lost and unbelievably happy in the middle of the room.


	2. Two.

I pushed the heavy door of the ‘Brooklyn Social’ and looked around the place for a tall and messy-haired boy; my heart started to pound in my chest as I suddenly thought about the possibility of him not being here. He obviously was a really attractive man, and it wouldn’t surprise me if I learned that he didn’t actually want anything to do with me, despite the bound that irrevocably linked us together.

It was now 12:05 and I had trouble breathing as I stood alone and completely lost in the middle of the bar; I felt stupid for thinking that he’d want to see me again. Tears started to appear in my eyes and I felt more humiliated that I’d ever been in my life. I wiped my sleeve under my eyes and turned around before quickly making my way to the front door, my gaze on the floor as shame made my cheeks turn red.

I harshly pushed the door and stepped outside, ready to start running and take my anger out on something when two arms engulfed me in a warm hug. It took me a second to realize what was happening and I then placed my hands on the stranger’s chest and pushed with all my strength as fury started to blind my vision.

“Hey, hey, it’s me, what’s going on?” the melodic voice that’s been haunting my mind since our first encounter in that same pub said with a worried tone.

“What? It’s you?” I asked, a heavy sigh leaving my lips as I studied his face for a second before wrapping my arms around his torso and pressing my cheek against his chest.

“Of course, it’s me! Why are you crying, baby?” he murmured, his lips placing small kisses in my hair and I felt my heart skip a beat before exploding into the most beautiful fireworks I’ve ever experienced before.

“It’s nothing” I answered, biting my lips to suppress the ridiculous grin that was about to appear on my face.

“No, tell me” he demanded as he placed a finger under my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. I immediately got lost in them; it seemed like they were even more beautiful than the first time I’d seen them and I forgot what I was about to say.

Ashton’s pov :

Her brown gaze solidly held mine as I waited for her to answer me. The depth of her eyes made my legs shake and my heart go numb; they held so many emotions, I wanted to be able to read them all; and I swore to myself I’d get to know her so well I would be able to tell exactly how she felt with just one look into her wide eyes. The fact that they were circled by a little red mark made my whole body ache and I wanted nothing more than to protect her from anything that could ever hurt her.

“I just thought you weren’t coming” she eventually confessed and my lips fell apart as her words reached my ears. I knew I was a bit late but I never thought for a slight second that she’d ever think that I wasn’t going to show up.

“I’m so sorry, I know I’m not really punctual but please don’t ever worry about me not showing up in the future!” I smiled at her and she held me tighter, her small arms still around my back. I hated that I made her cry already; and I still didn’t really get why she thought that I would stand her up; we were soul mates; of course I was going to be here.

“What do you say we get inside and get something to eat? I think I just felt your stomach rumble… Or maybe it was mine, not really sure” I chuckled and a clear and melodious laugh was heard as she pulled away from my chest and slapped my arm.

“It was definitely yours” she protested and I could only smile at how adorably beautiful she was.

We sat at a random table and ordered some food; she took pesto pasta and I made a mental note, just in case I ever had to cook for her, which I secretly hoped I would be doing soon.

“You know I’ve been doing some thinking yesterday and I thought… You know a bit about me, you know that I’m in a band and stuffs, but I really don’t know anything about you, except that your name is Katy and that your parents must be some extremely good looking people” I said as we waited for the waiter to come back with our orders. She blushed and looked down at her hands as a shy smile appeared on her beautiful face.

“There’s not much to know really; I’m 18, I started college a few weeks ago, I chose English Literature… Huh; I have a big brother, he’s 21 and that’s pretty much it” she rambled and I smiled at how random yet fascinating she was being.

“Alright, now they are the things you’d tell a stranger, which technically I am, but I’m supposed to become a bit more than that” I encouraged and she smiled at me before cocking an eyebrow at me.

“I like to write” she confessed and something in the way her eyes started to shine made me think it was a more important information than any she’d given me so far.

“I write a lot, about everything. It’s my getaway I guess; not that I have a sad life or anything, but I just feel like… I don’t know; I feel like I’m really living my life when I’m writing. I just either grab a notebook and a pen or open my laptop and I just type a sentence and basically go on from here. It can last for hours. It can be something really meaningful, where my feelings are showing and I write things I’d never dare to say; but it can also be something totally random that barely makes sense. I guess I just need to write, even when I don’t have anything to say” she chuckled and I was hanging on her every word.

She was so passionate about it; it was a magical thing to see. She probably didn’t even realize it but she stopped being shy and she wasn’t holding back anymore and it was obvious she loved it more than anything in the world. I could relate to that; she’d just put into words the way I felt about music.

“You’re beautiful” I let out and mentally slapped myself for that because that’s probably not what she expected me to say.

“Thank you” she answered as a light shade of red rose on the top of her cheekbones; she was back to being a little shy and I loved that, too.

We ate our dishes while sharing the same kind of information. It was lovely and carefree; we laughed a lot; we even ended up stealing some food out of each other’s plate just because both my burger and her pasta were good.

“Oh my god, I’m full” she suddenly laughed as she sank into her chair and placed both her hands on her stomach. I stretched my arm and poked her side; she immediately got away from my touch as another melodious laugh left her lips.

“Don’t do that, I’m going to throw up” he complained and I laughed before asking the waitress for the bill.

“A confession, now” I said as she’d just closed her eyes, her head thrown back on the top of the seat.

“What?” she asked, confused as she stood straight and looked at me intently. I could easily drown into those brown eyes of her if I didn’t remind myself to breathe each time she looked at me.

“Tell me something only a few people know about you.” I reiterated and her lips parted slightly as she seemed to be thinking for a minute. Her expression changed and I knew she’d found something but didn’t know whether she could say it or not. I decided to let her take the decision and she opened her mouth a few seconds later.

“I never really believed in the whole soul mate thing” she said and it’s like the world had suddenly stopped around us. My breath hitched in my throat as she watched my reaction; her words played in my mind for the second time and I tried to understand what they meant, analyzing each syllable, searching for a hint.

“Past tense? Does that mean you believe in it now?” I asked, my mouth dry as hope started to rise in the back of my mind. She smiled at me and every muscle in my body seemed to relax.

“I’m considering the idea” she answered, as her hand started to slide toward mine on the table.

“You’ll probably have to convince me” she added as our skin touched and she gently laced our fingers together. A smirk appeared on my face and I ran my thumb over her tender skin as I watched a strand of her brown hair fall over her eyes. I got up, pulling on her hand so that she would follow me; I then placed my hands on her hips and she wrapped her fingers around my biceps as I leaned closer to her.

 

“I think I can do that” I answered before pressing my lips down on hers.


	3. Three.

He drove me home, we exchanged number and shared a last kiss before wishing each other a good night. I had one of the best afternoons of my life; we talked and laughed and kissed a lot and it felt as if we’d known each other for years.

I collapsed on my bed, eyes wide opened toward the ceiling and hands crossed over my stomach as I played the day in my head once again. I sat up and reached for my purse before grabbing my phone.

**I’ve just realized I barely know anything about you when I’ve already told you everything there is to know about me… Be ready for a real interrogation next time we see each other! ;) –K xx**

It didn’t take him a minute to answer.

**Oh! Good to know you wanna see me again ;) Can I take you out tomorrow? There’s a place that describes me better than words ever will –A xx**

“So, where are we going?” I asked, squeezing his hand as it rested on my thigh. He was driving me to that mysterious place and I was really excited to get a glimpse of his world; he told me to not dress to fancy so I’d just put on a pair of tight jeans, a white t-shirt and a black leather jacket.

“It’s a place that kind of looks like the ‘Brooklyn Social’; my friends are going to be here” he answered and I smiled at the thought of meeting his friends. He wanted me to meet them, which meant he wasn’t as disappointed with me as I thought he was. I laced our fingers together and looked outside for a second as my heart started to beat faster.

He parked the car and took my hand in his as soon as we were both out. The lightning sign in front of us read ‘The Owl House’ and the front looked really lovely, like the place had a real history and soul; I already knew I was going to love it here.

“Ashton!” A deep voice echoed in the room as soon as we entered the place. A very tall blond boy came into sight and he opened his long arms before giving Ashton what looked like a really good hug.

“Hey, Luke!” Ashton giggled and returned his embrace; he then pulled away and turned to me before wrapping his arms around my waist.

“This is Katy; Katy, this is Luke, guitarist and singer in the band” he made the presentation and Luke gave me a quick hug before turning to his friend again.

“I always thought you’d turn out gay; but it’s nice to meet you, Katy” he said, shrugging, before turning around and going back to whatever he was doing before we arrived.

Ashton shook his head before looking down at me and his eyes were shining with happiness and contentment. That was definitely his happy place, where he felt the most comfortable and where he met friends that became family over the years; it was so heartwarming to see him like that. I wrapped my arms around his torso and hugged him tight before lifting my head up; he was looking down at me with a smile and he slowly leaned in before pressing his soft, gentle lips on mine.

“Ashton?” a small voice called behind me and I pulled away before turning around as his eyes searched the space behind my head. Right before me was standing a very pretty brunette; she had light brown eyes and her little nose made her whole face cuter than anyone’s in the room. She was wearing heels that made her legs look like she’d been working out for the past twenty years and a black top was hugging her small waist perfectly.

“Helena” Ashton greeted without any sign of enthusiasm, which really wasn’t like him.  His hands left my body and he buried his fingers in his pockets while chewing on his bottom lip.  I furrowed my eyebrows and my gaze went from Ashton to the girl as I tried to figure out why everything seemed so awkward suddenly.

“I… I’m sorry, I thought maybe you’d want to go back to mine tonight but-” she started but Ashton immediately cut her off.

“Helena, I want you to meet my soul mate, Katy” he hurriedly said before cautiously placing a hand on my waist again. She looked at me for the first time of the night and her eyes widened as I awkwardly stretched my hand out for her to shake; which she eventually did.

“Oh, right…” she let out after a few seconds. She looked back at Ashton, her lips parting slightly as her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“You… You should have told me it was a goodbye fuck” she eventually said before playfully punching Ashton’s shoulder and walking away from us. My mouth was wide opened and I tried to find something to say but I didn’t even know how I felt. When I finally looked at Ashton, he was already looking at me and his eyes seemed full of worry and remorse as he waited for me to say something. I suddenly became aware of his hand on my waist and I took a step to the side so that there wasn’t any more contact between our bodies.

“Katy…” Ashton started but I started to feel a burning sensation in my eyes and I lifted my hand up to stop him.

“Just give me a minute” I asked weakly before turning around and making my way over to the front door. I leaned against the frontal of the bar and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath and rested my head against the cold wall; I was confused and needed to clear my thoughts before doing anything else.

I was shocked by what I’d heard. It was weird for me to think that Ashton had been having fun this whole time even though he knew and believed that every of the girls he had sex with would never be anything more than unimportant love affairs. It pained me to think that even though I’d never really believed in having a soul mate; I’d waited for the countdown to come to an end to have sex with anyone, just to be sure… And all this time he was sleeping around and having fun and I should’ve done the same thing. But it wasn’t what was really hurting me, if I was being honest with myself…

“Katy?” he called and I opened my eyes to see him walking toward me. I let out a sigh and decided that it was probably best for us to talk about this; we were still getting to know each other, after all, that was part of the game, too.

“I’m so sorry about what happened back there…I-” he started but I decided to cut him off by lifting my hand up and I gave him a small smile.

“Don’t apologize, it’s fine… It’s just that I wasn’t expecting it. I huh… You have your past and I have mine, that’s a cool thing… I think now may be the time for us to be completely honest with each other” I told him and he let out a relieved smile before nodding energetically.

“Okay, let me start! I huh… I feel completely stupid right now. When I was 16, I knew I still had 2 more years to go before meeting you and I wanted to have fun and I started having sex with random girls… I always made sure they hadn’t met their soul mate yet, I didn’t want them to be cheating on anyone with me and Helena was one of those girls. She may have seemed a bit inconsiderate back there but I swear she’s actually a really nice girl and she didn’t mean to hurt anyone… I feel stupid because if I’d known even for a slight second I’d feel this way with you, and I mean when I’m with you, and when I’m not… Just… You make me feel a million kind of wonderful and I now realize that whatever I felt with those girls was nothing… I’d saved myself for you if I’d known” he let out and I reached out and brushed my knuckles over his cheek before cupping his face and brushing my lips over his.

“You don’t have to apologize, I understand… It’s fine! Now, it’s my time to be honest I… I was really confused at first but it actually makes sense and I’m okay with it… I’m just… I just can’t help but picture you with those girls and frankly… I don’t really like it” I answered as my nose scrunched in displeasure.

“And also I’m totally inexperienced when it comes to sex and I kind of wish I wasn’t… Because if we ever do it, you know…” I started rambling on but he shushed me by slamming his lips down on mine, his whole body backing me up against the wall, his hands on my waist, mine on his biceps.

“Don’t say that! You don’t know how happy it makes me to know that no one’s ever touched you that way yet and I wish I could make you happy the same way… But don’t you worry, I’ll teach you everything there is to know” he ended with a cheeky smile and I let out a loud laugh as I felt my cheeks start to redden.

His eyes were on my face the whole time and a small smile was playing on his lips. His right hand traveled to the small of my back and he pressed my body against his before leaning in again; he placed his lips on my cheek and I felt his breath hit my hear as he talked.

 

“Soon”


	4. Four.

Tuesdays had never been my days… People always complained about Mondays, how terrible it always was because it was the end of the weekend and everyone had to go back to either school or work; but I’ve always took it as a new beginning and enjoyed the possibility it offered. Tuesdays, on the other hand, had nothing charming to me, nothing to offer. Tuesday was also my longest day at college and this week I had a presentation, which made me really nervous.

I worked on it the whole weekend and everything seemed on point but I was still scared I was going to realize something was missing right in the middle of it. Anyway, it had to be done and now was the time so I shakily put my laptop out of my purse and started talking in front of my class about a book I’d read and enjoyed.

Everybody clapped and I smiled as I thanked the audience and went back to my seat. It all went perfectly well and the teacher seemed pleased with my work as he congratulated me and told me that I really did get the point of the whole novel.

The class ended and right as I took my first step outside of the classroom, my phone started to buzz in my pocket. I took it out and smiled as Ashton’s name appeared on it.

“Ash!” I greeted as I started walking to my next class.

“Hey, baby! How did it go?” he asked excitedly and I smiled widely before explaining to him just how everything worked out amazingly well.

“Told you you were going to smash it!” he answered after listening to me and I rolled my eyes even though he couldn’t see me. “So, does that mean I can see you now or are you going to find another excuse to avoid spending time with me?” he asked and I gasped loudly as he started giggling.

“Seriously though, I really wasn’t avoiding you, I really needed to work on that! But now that it’s done I’ll have a lot more free time!” I answered and heard him let out a small laugh before replying.

“Great! I was thinking maybe you could meet Calum and Michael? Luke’s going to be here, too!” he offered and an idea appeared in the back of my mind as I started jumping like a child in the hallway.

“Can I bring Linda and Greg? I haven’t seen them since we met and I feel like Greg’s going to kick my ass if I don’t call him soon” I chuckled.

“Yeah sure; he better not do that, though… See you tomorrow then, beautiful” he said and I felt myself blush deeply at his words as people started to look at me weirdly.

“Bye, Ash” I answered before hanging up.

The days flew by and before I knew it, I found myself standing in front of my mirror, trying to decide what to wear again as butterflies started to dance in my stomach at the thought of seeing Ashton again. I let out a heavy sigh and grabbed my phone to text Linda.

**We really need to go shopping; I don’t have anything to wear anymore!!! – K**

**Yeah sure, your wardrobe is bigger than my apartment… But god knows I’d never turn that kind of offer down! Saturday? –L**

**Not my fault you have the smallest flat of Sydney! You’re perfect, Saturday’s perfect too! –K**

Linda, Greg and I arrived in front of Ashton’s house and I knocked before taking a step back; Ashton had promised me his family wouldn’t be home and I was really happy about it as I didn’t want to meet them yet, it was too soon in my opinion. The door flew open and two arms immediately wrapped around my waist as Ashton pulled me into his body.

He looked at me in the eye and a smile appeared on his face as he leaned in and kissed me without hesitation. I was stunned and my heart was going absolutely crazy as I started to kiss him back.

“Oh…” I let out once we’d pulled away. He gave me a weird look and cocked his eyebrows as if to ask what I meant by that.

“So… are we like, a real thing now?” I asked, genuinely curious and he threw his head back in laughter as his hands squeezed my sides.

“Definitely!” he simply answered before letting me go; he quickly hugged Linda just as his three friends appeared and they all hugged me, then my Linda. Greg was standing right next to her, his hands extended, ready to greet the four boys but none of them even bothered looking at him before turning around and mentioning for us to follow them.

I gave him a sympathetic look and shook his hand so that he wasn’t left hanging before bursting out laughing; he muttered a quick ‘thank you’ and joined me. We both walked in, his arm around my shoulders and mine around his waist as we tried to catch our breath after laughing so much.

Ashton’s living room was pretty simple but lovely nonetheless; two couches were separated by a little coffee table and a balcony seemed to dominate a part of the city on our right. Ashton asked me to sit with him; Michael was on his left and Linda on my right. In front of us were Greg, Luke and Calum, in that order.

“We thought we could order pizza, what do you girls like?” Luke asked and I answered with chicken as Linda pointed out that anything with peperoni would be fine by her.

“Okay then, I’ll order that for you, Michael I’ll get you the usual, I’ll take a Barbecue for Calum, a Mexican for you, Ash and I’ll have a Queen… We’ll share anyway!” Luke said before getting up and walking toward the door.

I looked over at Greg and he seemed as confused as I was as no one’d asked him what he wanted. He shrugged and I gave him a smile as Ashton’s hand rested on my thigh. I put my own over it and laced our fingers together as he gave me a smile and quickly pecked my lips. A million butterflies erupted in my stomach and I wondered if there was ever going to be a day I’d stop to feel this way.

“Isn’t Manchester City playing tonight?” Ashton asked Calum and the tattooed boy nodded before getting his phone out of his pocket to check the time.

“Oh, you guys are into football?” my best friend asked, a glint of excitement starting to shine in his eyes.

“Yeah” Calum muttered and I frowned at how cold he was being; it wasn’t anything like what Ashton had described him to be and he seemed pretty cheerful when he greeted Linda and I earlier.

“What team are you supporting? I’m a huge Chelsea fan!” Greg tried again.

“Cool. So Linda, what are you doing? I mean, Ashton told us that Katy is studying literature but what about you?” he asked and my two friends exchanged a look before looking at me. I realized my mouth was opened in chock and I hurriedly closed it before turning to Ashton.

“Ashton, what’s the matter?” I seriously asked and he gave me a smile which annoyed me even more.

“Ashton? You never call me Ashton!” he said as he squeezed my hand which I immediately took out of his.

“Yes, well I’m calling you Ashton now; can we talk for a second?” I reiterated as I tried to stay calm in front of everyone. He gave me a small nod, his smile slightly fading away as we both stood up. He placed both his hands on my waist behind me and guided me toward what seemed to be his room. I got out of his grip as soon as I could and turned around to look at him.

“What is going on with Greg?” I asked and he must’ve understood that I was dead serious as he wasn’t smiling anymore.

“Nothing… What are you talking about?” he acted, but I could see he wasn’t being sincere; it was written in his eyes and in the way he was holding himself in front of me.

“Oh please! The four of you have been nothing but rude to him” I replied and Ashton let out a big sigh before running a hand through his messy hair. I watched him and caught myself wishing I was the one doing that; his hair seemed so soft. I realized I was biting my lip and immediately shook those thoughts out of my mind.

“I just don’t like him” he finally let out with a small voice.

“And so…” I said as I crossed my arms over my chest.

“So I’m not going to pretend I like him for the whole night!” he tried to defend himself as I raised my eyebrows.

“Wait, I’m afraid to understand… And your friends?” I continued.

“They’re brothers” he explained.

“So you told them you didn’t like him, which by the way doesn’t make any sense; and they agreed to be total douches to him just like that?” I asked as he buried his fingers into his pockets.

“Well yeah, we trust each other’s judgment!” he answered, his voice rising slightly.

“And what is your judgment based on, exactly? Because you don’t know him, you have absolutely no reason to dislike him! He’s an amazing guy; he’s been there for me through everything!” I started to yell and I saw fury start to shine into Ashton’s eyes.

“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t know I had to right a 20 pages essay to explain why I didn’t like him! You should’ve told me earlier, I would have emailed it to you in the afternoon!” he fired back before turning around and walking out of his own room to go back to the living room.

I was shocked. My whole body was shaking in anger and I started to think about what I was going to do now. The whole situation was just unfair and that was one of the things I couldn’t stand. I could try and show Ashton that Greg would always be more important than him by flirting with my friend; but that wouldn’t be fair on Greg at all. I could totally ignore Ashton and his friends for the rest of the night and just try to have a good time with mine, but that wouldn’t really be fair on Calum, Luke and Michael as they didn’t really asked for it.

No, what I was going to do is just have a good time with everyone and ignore Ashton; I didn’t care whether or not he was my ‘soul mate’, I’d never believed in that bullshit anyway, and it seemed like Ashton was slowly proving me right.  

I walked back to the leaving room and made a point of not looking at Ashton as I went to stand in front of Luke.

“Hey Luke, is it okay if I seat next to Greg?” I asked but didn’t give him a choice as I started to seat down anyway. He took my previous place next to Ashton and I could feel my soul mate’s eyes burning holes into my face but I didn’t look back at him.

The evening went on rather quickly anyway and I made sure to include Greg into every conversation we had with Linda and the rest of the boys.

“We should get going, I start super early tomorrow!” Greg said around midnight and everybody nodded before getting up. The boys had to go, too. Linda and I hugged Michael, Calum and Luke and I made sure they didn’t ignore Greg this time before walking toward the front door; the boys waved Ashton goodbye and Linda and Greg followed them out.

Right as I was about to walk out, a hand wrapped around my wrist and Ashton let out a small ‘Just a second’ to my friends before closing the door and crashing his lips down on mine, his body pressing mine against the wooden door.

I wanted to push him away, I wanted to protest, tell him it wasn’t okay to act like a douche and then do that but I couldn’t. I simply couldn’t and I wrapped my arms around his neck instead, bringing him closer. I could feel his chest against mine and the outlines of his abs were clearly evident against my stomach.

“I’m sorry” he murmured against my lips after pulling away. His hands were on my waist and his thumbs were brushing the exposed skin as he’d lifted my shirt up a little.

“I truly am” he insisted as I hadn’t said a thing. I got up on my tiptoes and teased his lips with my own for a few seconds before gently sealing them together.

“I don’t like him, Katy; I really don’t. And if I’m being honest, it has to do with the way he is with you; the way he’s always touching you somehow and I can’t stand that. But I swear I’ll try and make some efforts, and I’ll tell the boys to do to… I just have a feeling about him” he said and I started playing with the hair at the base of his neck.

“It’s nothing like that between us, Ash… You know that!” I explained and he nodded before placing his forehead on mine.

“I know; but it’s something like that between us and I don’t want him touching you.” He stubbornly answered and I rolled my eyes as a small smile appeared on my face.

“Anyway, am I forgiven now?” he asked and I bit my lips before bringing his face to mine again, hoping that’d be enough of an answer.

“Good.” He smiled as one of his hands traveled to the small of my back and pulled my body closer to his.

“I’d like to take you away this weekend. Just the two of us” he offered and I bit my lip again.

“What about next weekend? I already have plans for Saturday” I explained and his eyes instantly darkened. “With Linda!” I hurriedly added and he immediately seemed to calm down.

 “Next weekend it is, then!” 


	5. Five.

“So have you and Ashton sealed the deal yet?” Linda casually asked as we walked out of Forever 21 with two big bags in our hands.

“Please, tell me you’re not asking whether we had sex or not… Seal the deal? Seriously?” I replied as I threw my head back and looked at the sky in desperation.

“That’s exactly what I meant, and judging by your outraged face, I’m guessing the answer’s no so next shop’s definitely a lingerie store because you just gotta look your best!” she said as she clapped her hands in excitement. I stopped in the middle of the street and waited for her to turn around before speaking.

“Not happening, Linda! Don’t you think I’m gonna be nervous enough when it is going to happen? I don’t want to have to worry about looking good in expensive lingerie on top of that” I explained as I started walking again. She smiled at me and slid her arm under mine.

“Honey, if you DON’T buy lingerie, you’re gonna find yourself absolutely frightened at the idea of stripping in front of your ridiculously good looking boyfriend, knowing that you’re wearing some hideous granny pants and a bra that doesn’t match!” she explained as she pulled me in the lingerie store. I let out a big sigh but didn’t protest as I knew I would lose this one anyway.

We were both laughing hysterically when we walked out of the store because the cashier had hit on me a bit too obviously and as always when that kind of situation happened to one of us, Linda and I had pretended that we were soul mate.

“I hope we’ll still get to do that, you know, now that you have Ashton” Linda let out and even though she tried to sound joyful, I could hear a tiny glint of worry in her voice.

“Hey! Nothing’s gonna change; I’m still me, and you know that I wouldn’t let any boy change anything about the way our friendship is! And you know what? I’ll take you on a date, just like we used to do a few years ago, I don’t know why we stopped, it was pretty fun” I reassured her and she gave me her most genuine smile as we both walked toward her car.

We threw the bags in the trunk and hopped in the car. She drove all the way from the mall to my house and right as we got out of the car, an idea appeared in the back of my mind.

“I really want a milkshake!” I announced and she flashed me a grin. There was a little shop just down my street that sold a-m-a-z-i-n-g milkshakes and during the really hot summer days, we would always come here and order two each, just because we could.

We arrived at the place and immediately ordered our favorite ones before going to seat in the corner of the little room. We talked and laughed and talked some more and we only decided to go home oncce we realized just how dark it was outside.

We both got up from our seat and Linda started walking toward the door when the tingling of the bell, indicating that a new customer had just arrived echoed through the place. I lifted my eyes up and my whole body froze as I was met with familiar grey orbs. They had haunted me nights after nights for so long, I couldn’t not recognize them.

It was like the world had stopped spinning; there wasn’t enough air in the room and I wasn’t even sure my heart was beating anymore. He was standing right in front of me; his dark hair perfectly done and his face absolutely spotless. He was dressed in all black as always but it was intimidating now.

He was looking at me and I think I would have been okay with it if it wasn’t for the smirk that was playing on his face. He seemed really happy of my confused state and I hated myself for being so weak, but it was like my body wasn’t responding anymore. I wanted to scream and run, but all I could do was stand there and look at the man who had hurt me so badly in the past.

I felt someone grab my forearm and I was suddenly pulled out of the shop, fresh air hitting my face as I suddenly collapsed on the pavement.

“Kat! Kat! Please, it’s okay!” Linda said as she pulled me up and grabbed my face with both her hands.

“Hey, he can’t hurt you now, it’s all in the past, you’ve got us now and you know Greg and I and your brother wouldn’t let him go near you ever again” she assured as I kept looking at her blankly. I couldn’t think rationally; all I had in mind was the memories of what happened almost two years ago now; and I was reliving it all again.

“Katy, are you okay? Do you even hear me?” Linda asked as her face turned into a big frown. I parted my lips but not a single sound came out of it. I tried to steady my breathing first but the more I tried to slow it down, the more uneven it became.

“Please, just… I think I’m gonna call Ashton, I really don’t know what to do right now” she said before taking my phone out of my pocket and swiping her thumb across the screen. I stood there while she dialed his number and I watched her get impatient as he didn’t seem to answer the call.

“Hi, Ashton, this is Linda… Huh, I’m having a bit of a problem right now; long story short I need your help right now, Katy’s in a state of shock and I really don’t know how to handle it… Can you come to the mi-” she breathed out but I snapped the phone out of her hand and hung up as soon as my body started responding again.

“I’m fine, I’m okay! Don’t call Ashton, I don’t… I don’t wanna have to explain it!” I answered her questioning look and angry face as she turned to me. My phone started buzzing in my hand before she could say anything and I looked down to see Ashton’s name flashing on it. I bit down on my lip and decided to ignore the call as I looked at Linda apologetically.

“Okay… I mean, it may be a bit too late now and you’ll have to tell him at some point, anyway… I’ll stay with you tonight” she announced and I nodded as I knew she wasn’t to be argued with at the moment.

Ashton kept calling, sending texts and leaving voicemails and I decided to answer as Linda and I finally got home.

_Ashton’s POV_

“Hey, A-” her voice rang through the phone and my heart skipped a bit when I heard her.

“Where the fuck are you? What’s happening? Are you okay?” I half yelled as my free hand kept balling into fists. It had been a good half an hour since Linda called me and a million scenarios had played into my mind since then.

“Don’t worry, I’m okay… I huh- I just- I wanted to prank Linda earlier and I didn’t know it’d go that far, I’m sorry” She explained and I had never heard a voice that betrayed someone’s lies as clearly as hers did.

“Don’t lie to me, what happened to you?” I asked again, trying to control my anger and not swear too much; the last thing I wanted was to scare her off but I knew something happened and the fact that she was trying to keep it from me killed me.

“I swear it’s nothing, Ash! I’m totally fine now, I’m sorry I worried you. Linda and I went shopping today, I bought lots of stuffs, I’ll have to show you!” She said excitedly and I could tell she was trying to distract me. I pinched the bridge of my nose and let out a heavy sigh as I decided to play along.

“Okay then, if you say so… you’ll bring them next weekend?” I asked and it was also a way to make sure she hadn’t forgotten about it.

“Yes! Are you still not going to tell me where we’re going?” she asked and I could picture her pouting in an adorable way.

“Nope” I giggled as I heard her complain on the other end of the line.

“Not fair, can you at least tell me if I have to take casual or classy clothes?” she asked and I shook my head in amusement.

“Take both, baby” I answered and I caught the little gasp that came from her lips as I called her that. This was my favorite thing to do since I’d called her that for the first time and noticed the way she reacted to it. It made my own heart explode into a million pieces and I had to close my eyes for a few seconds each time.

“Okay then! See you in a week!” she said before hanging up. I pushed the phone back into my pocket and the smile she had put on my face soon faded as I remembered why I was calling her in the first place. I didn’t like that she’d lied to me and I hated to be held away from whatever was bothering her.

I had made very specific plans for the upcoming weekend. I was kind of hoping we could have our first ever intimate moment together, even if she didn’t want to go all the way yet; I was craving her kisses and I never seemed to get enough of her. But I knew I’d have to put them off, I wanted answers, I needed to know what was happening and why she didn’t want to tell me… I needed her to let me in.

My mouth became really dry as I suddenly realized how much of a challenge that was going to be.


	6. Six.

I had spent the week trying to wrap my mind around what had happened in the Milkshake bar. I had skipped two days at college and I wasn't proud of it; but I just felt like I didn't have the strenght to face the world. I also needed a little time by myself, to think about it all, to figure out how I was going to manage to act normal around Ashton. I had considered telling him the truth but I wasn't sure that was a good idea.

I had thought about what he said about Greg and I didn't like it; I mean, it was nice to know that he was looking out for me but not when it came to Greg; he was my best friend and he'd been by my side through everything, I wasn't going to let Ashton keep my best friend away from me, ever. It would've been easier if Ashton wasn't my soul mate, if I didn't feel so strongly about him already... but he was, and I couldn't help but have him on my mind almost 24/7.

When I laid down at night, I always found myself thinking about the future, how we would grow to know each other so well that we wouldn't be able to hide anything from each other, how that'd be a problem when we'd want to surprise the other for a birthday or something... I also felt safe with him, safer than I'd felt in a long time; I wasn't sure about it yet, but I had the feeling he'd be really protective when it came to me... maybe he already was, maybe that's why he didn't like Greg... I kind of liked the idea, I couldn't help but imagine being held against his body, his strong arms keeping me close...

Before I knew it, it was friday and I had one hour to pack and brace myself for the weekend to come, I could do it.  The bell rang and I breathed in and out before opening the door.

There he stood, tall and handsome; my breath hitched in my throat and I couldn't look away. He was dressed in black, his hair kept out of his face by a bandana; he smiled but it wasn't cute or adorable; no, it was hot and sexy and breathtaking, slightly overwhelming even.

"Hey, baby" he let out; I threw myself in his arms instead of answering and breathed in his scent. This was exactly what I needed.

"You okay?" He asked; placing a finger under my chin and tilting my head back.

"Yeah, I'm really happy to see you" I answered before getting on my tiptoes and placing my lips on his. They were even softer than I remembered; his hand immediately travelled to the small of my back and he pulled me closer as my tongue traced his bottom lip in hope that he'd let me in. He pulled away instead and his eyes stayed closed for a second.

"Who are you and what have you done to the shy, adorable, little girl I met a few weeks ago?" He asked amused and I giggled, feeling my cheeks heat up as I burried my face in the crook of his neck.

"I just missed you" I confessed and he squeezed my body against his.

"I did too! But we gotta get going! I have a looot planed! Where's your bag" he answered before letting me go. He took my suitcase and sarted walking toward the door, flashing me a smile as he caught me staring at him, mouth opened and eyes wild.

"You're drooling, baby" he chuckled and I slapped his arm as he started laughing uncontrollably.

I spent the whole drive long trying to figure out where we were going, and he kept saying 'yes' to every destinations I offered. I also took a minute or two to look at him while he was driving. He had one hand on the steering wheel and the other one on the gearbox; a little wrinkle had formed in-between his eyebrows as he focused on the road. He was mesmerizing and I dropped my eyes to my knees as it suddenly downed on me that I'd never be this beautiful.

"Hey, what's going on?" Ashton asked and I looked up to meet his worried eyes.

"Nothing" I said, shaking my head before giving him my best smile.

"You always do that" he said, letting out a big sigh.

"Do what?" I frowned as I realized he was upset about something.

"I don't know you just... you get lost in your own thoughts and then you shut me out" he stated, his teeth grazing at his bottom lip. My lips parted and I looked at my laps once more as I tried to think about what he'd just said. I didn't want him to feel that way but I knew he was right; I just didn't know how to explain it to him, or change the way I was.

"I'm sorry you feel that way" I murmured, my cheeks red from ambarrassment.

"We're there" he stated and I looked up to see that the car was parked and he was looking at me.

"What are you so afraid of?" He asked and I shook my head before grabbing the handle and opening the door. I leaned against the car after closing it and Ashton circled the engine and made his way to me. He stood in front of me and put both his hands on my hips, his body pressing me against the steelwork.

"Do you think I'd hurt you in anyway? Because I won't. I know you don't believe in this whole soul mate thing, but I do. I do believe that you're the one and it has nothing to do with that damn tattoo! It's about how I feel when we're together, when you're looking at me with that little smile, it's about how I feel when I take your hand, it's about how I felt when Linda called me last weekend to tell me you weren't okay, it's about the way I feel right now... It's overwhelming for me and the fact that you're here right now means that you feel it, too. You wouldn't have agreed to spend the whole weekend with someone you'd just met if you didn't believe he's more than just a random stranger." He finished and I smiled at his words. He was smart, and right now he was also right. The way I felt when I was with him was unique and I'd never experienced it before him.  
"I'm sorry; I'm sorry, you're right and it's just not easy for me to open up... I... You make me feel a million kinds of wonderful and I know you need to hear it more often but... I'll try, I will and I'll do it but please just be patient with me." I let out and that was probably the most meaningful speech I'd ever given; and I felt like a huge weight, that I didn't even know was there had been lifted from my shoulders.

"I just need to know you'll try" he answered, a huge grin on his face and he slowly leaned in before brushing his lips over mine.

"I will" I promised before closing the gap.  
Ashton grabbed my hand and he took me to every room of the ridiculously big house. It belonged to one of his friends' family and they'd agreed to let us have it for the weekend. It looked like one of  those dreamy villas you could see on the internet under the caption 'dream house'.

"There are actual stars in your eyes right now" Ashton laughed and I chuckled before wrapping my arms around his waist, both of us standing speechless in the living room.

"It's such a pretty house... I mean, I didn't even think I'd ever get to see something like that with my own eyes, let alone spend a weekend in there" I confessed and his hand started to mindlessly rub my back as we looked out at the ocean through the large bay window. I suddenly gasped in horror as I noticed the swimming pool right in front of us.

"Oh my god, no!!! I forgot my swimsuit!" I exclaimed as I brought a hand to my forehead; there was nothing I loved more than water and thinking that I'd have to look at the ocean for two days without being able to dive in was worse than torture to me.

"It's okay, you can go in the water with your underwear, it's just going to be us and it's the same thing anyway" he pointed out and I nodded before letting out a groan. The only underwears I had were the ones I'd bought with Linda, and they weren't suitable for that situation, they were way too revealing to be taken out of the bedroom and too expensive to get soaked by salty water.  
"No they're not... they're not that kind of underwears, I'll huh... I don't know if there's a shop I'll go buy a bikini or something" I mumbled and felt my cheeks heat up as Ashton smirked down at me; his arms still wrapped around me.

"May I ask what kind of underwears they are, then? You've made me very curious Miss Barnes" he said in a very serious tone and I blushed some more at his words. He cocked an eyebrow and his lips formed an 'o'as he scanned my face in surprise.

"No, really? Oh damn! Do you... did you... I mean... on purpose?" He rambled and I smiled at how startled he was.

"Yes" I answered how seductively as possible and his hand slowly travelled to my backside until it was fully resting on it.

"God I can't wait!" He breathed out before roughly pressing his lips to mine. His other hand grabbed the back of my neck and he started walking me backward until the back of my knees hit a soft piece of fourniture. He then placed both his hands on the back of my thighs and lifted me up before turning around and sitting on the sofa so that I was straddling him.


	7. Seven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING : This chapter contains really explicit content, please don't read if you're underage or if you don't feel comfortable with it.

Ashton and I agreed to go to the restaurant that night and to go grocery shopping on staurday to be able to cook up a nice diner.

"What kind of restaurant do you wanna go to?" I asked as we were cuddling on the couch in front of the ocean.

"Well actually, there's only one restaurant around... I heard it was really good, kind of fancy I guess" he answered as he started playing with my hair. I smiled and imagined us, well dressed sharing a delicious meal; I was lucky I packed a classy dress and I wondered if he'd wear an actual shirt or something.

We both went to seperate bathrooms to get dressed and I found myself missing Linda terribly as I didn't know how to style my hair. I enventually decided to let it fall down my back before putting my heels on. My makeup was all done and I was quite proud of it for once. I looked at my reflection one last time before taking a deep breath and unlocking the bathroom door.

He was waiting for me in the huge living room, his back to me as he stood in front of the bay window. He was wearing his usual black jeans with a white shirt that could be seen under his black jacket. It was him yet it was different, it was more formal and I liked that he made an effort for our date, even though I already thought he was the most beautiful man alive in his usual clothes.

I must've made some type of noise because he suddenly turned around and gaped at me.

_Ashton's POV_

All the air left my lungs as I turned around and saw her standing behind me. She was wearing a navy blue dress that covered half of her thighs; the low cut was quite reaveling and it really did justice to her cleavage. Her hair was falling around her face and the small amount of makeup she'd put on made her brown eyes lighter than usual. Her lips were now a cherry color and I wanted nothing more than to devour them now. My eyes traveled down her body and I suddenly noticed how long her legs seemed, she was wearing black heels and I'd never seen such a gorgeous and sexy woman in my life.

"I'm not sure I wanna go out anymore" I murmured, my mouth dry as I took a step toward her.

"You look really good, the shirt really suits you" she answered with a smile as I put both my hands on her hips and slowly backed her up against the nearest wall.

"You're gorgeous as hell... really hot, way too hot" I breathed out as I ran my nose against hers. She blushed and one of her small hands grabbed my forearm as she leaned in and placed her lips on mine. I wrapped my arms around her back and pulled her close, my body craving hers as I traced my tongue over her bottom lip. She opened her mouth slightly and I lifted my left hand up to the back of her neck to deepen the kiss.

We were both out of breath when she pulled away and I groaned at the loss of contact; I never wanted this to end.

"You have lipstick on your lips" she chuckled as she brought her thumb to my mouth and started rubbing it off and I had to resiste the urge to kiss her again.     
           
"There" she said and I tried to peck her lips but she put her palm on my mouth and pushed me away

"Come on Ashton, if we don't go now, we'll never make it!" She laughed and I joined her before taking her hand and pulling her out of the house.

The restaurant was indeed quite fancy and it was pretty much the best place to spend our first date. I got to learn a bit more about Katy, who she was, what she loved.

She lived on her own, in town and she seemed to love her independance; she had an older brother and family seemed like a really important thing to her. She loved writing, and although I already knew that, I was only beggining to understand just how much it meant to her. She kept saying she didn't want to make a career out of it but something about the way her eyes changed when she was talking about it made me think that she just was just lying to herself. She was just scared it wouldn't work out, and having the dream to one day tour the world with my band, I could only understand that.

"Will you let me read one of your writings one day?" I asked her and she started twisting her lips and playing with her food as she considered my question.

"I don't know... It's pretty personal and it probably doesn't make sense to anyone but me most of the time" she answered and again I could tell that she was just scared.

"You heard my band play" I stated and she smiled at the memory.

"Yeah but that was before we even met! You were amazing by the way!" She said as she put her forks down next to her place. That was another thing I'd learned that night : music was a really important part of her life. Her father loved music more than anything else and she'd grown up listening to classic rock records. When she was a teenager, she grew really close to her mother due to girl talks and she started to get curious about everything.

One day she decided to listen to a few of her dad's records and loved them so much that she copied them; when her dad came back from work that night, she told him about that and from that moment on, they would talk about music every evening at diner. She even followed her father's steps and became the biggest Beatles fan... so much that for her sixteenth birthday, he took her to Liverpool and they visited all the epic places together. They'd been really close ever since.

"Well I hope so because as the drummer's girlfriend you'll be expected to be backstage at every show and ready to give massages to the musicians at any given moment!" I joked but stopped laughing as soon as the image of her straddling any of my bandmate's back to rub their skin came to my mind.

"I mean as my girlfriend you're only supposed to give ME massages" I corrected rigt away.

"Yeah no, thanks I'll pass on this one" she giggled and I pouted but she only shook her head at me.

We got out of the restaurant and started walking down the town's streets, my arm wrapped around her waist as she nuzzled her face into my chest.

"It's a very good restaurant!" I said and she nodded against my neck.

"Yeah... The food was delicious and the waitress was... friendly to say the least" she answered and something was off about the way she said it.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I stopped walking. She lifted her head and I noticed her eyes were a bit wider than usual.

"Don't tell me you didn't notice!" She exclaimed. I frowned and tried to think about the girl who took our orders and brought us our food but truth was I couldn't even remember her face.

"Ashton she was trying to get your attention for the two hours we've been there!" She informed me, her face falling a little. Was she really upset about it ?

"No she wasn't! Katy I can tell when a girl's flirting with me and I can assure you she wasn't" I answered but she kept shaking her head as I spoke.

"She had her eyes on you the whole time, even when she asked ME what I was going to eat. She brushed your hand with her own every occasion she had and I even saw her pull on her top and lift her tits up just before she walked to our table!" She argued and then resumed walking, not waiting for me. She was definitely upset about it and it actually made me smile how oblivious she was.

"Are you jealous?" I asked as I caught up with her and grabbed her arm, forcing her to turn to me.

"Would you be if a waiter had hit on me for two hours straight?" She whispered and I immediately shook my head.

"That wouldn't have happened." I answered firmly and she looked like she'd been slapped for a second. She looked down and freed herself from my grip before walking rapidly toward the house.

"Right" I heard her murmur and that was when I realized what I'd just said.

She was already inside when I reached her and I barely took the time to close the door behind me before rushing to her. I knew that if I didn't explain myself right now, I'd probably lose any bit of trust she had in me. I also knew she didn't want to listen to me but I needed her to. I grabbed her waist a bit more roughly than usual and made sure she couldn't move between the wall and my body.

"I didn't mean it that way" I immediately said, my eyes searching for hers but she wouldn't look at me.

"It's okay, Ashton" she answered and I could almost hear sobs in her voice.

"How could you ever think that" I breathed out, pained that she didn't feel beautiful, pained that I didn't manage to make her feel beautiful.

"A boy'd never hit on you for two hours straight while you're with me because I'd probably punch him in the first five minutes" I explained and she very slowly lifted her head up, her lips parted as she looled at me with an unreadable expression.

"You don't think you're beautiful?" I asked, my eyebrows raised as I tried to understand how she fell.

"I dont... I think I'm okay but you're something more and I just... I just don't feel like I'm enough" she confessed and I felt my heart break at her words. She was so wrong.

"I can't believe you don't realize just how fucking gorgeous you are! Katy, everything about you is beautiful! Your eyes, your lips, your skin, the way you walk, the way you talk and your body... Don't even get me started on your body... You just have that m-" I was about to go on but she shushed me with her lips and I responded immediately. There was another way I could make her feel beautiful.

I traced my tongue over her lips and she didn't hesitate before parting her lips and letting me in. We battled for dominance, but god knows I couldn't let her win that one. I took charge of the kiss before slowly pulling away and trailing my lips down her throat. She gripped on my shoulders and I started leaving a light hickey on the side of her neck when a muffled moan left her lips. My eyes shot open as I felt blood run to my center; I gently bit down on the mark I'd left and her body tried to get even closer to mine; she liked it. I closed my eyes and a smile appeared on my face; this was probably going to be complicated for me, but I also knew that was going to be damn good.

I felt myself getting hard as I lifted my head up and looked at her in the eyes. I gulped and tried to control myself as all I wanted to do was to get that dress off of her.

"We don't have to go all the way... If you only wanna make out, I'm perfectly fine with that" I breathed out, trying to convince her that I meant those words, and I did but my mind was clouded with other thoughts at the moment.  
"Ashton, I brought lingerie, that means I wanna have sex with you" she assured, not so shy all of a sudden... almost as if she was tipsy.

She kissed me and it was passionate and primal, it was raw and it left me wanting more. I started walking us toward the bedroom and I took my shirt off in the way. She took a moment to look at me while I closed the door and her eyes were shining; she reached out and ran her fingers over my abs; I hissed as my jeans started to become too tight for my liking. I cupped her face and pecked her lips reassuringly before turning her around and grabbing the zipper of her dress. I slowly slid it down and the dress fell off her body; she stepped out from it and turned around.

She was wearing black lace lingerie and black heels; and I had to remind myself she was a virgin every second to not just rip it off her body and burry myself inside of her. One thing was sure though, any boy that had ever drooled over the Victoria's Secret angels had never seen my girl in lingerie. A huge wave of gratefulness suddenly washed over me as I realized just how lucky I was. I had won the soul mate lottery... Because on top of being smart, kind ans passionate; she was also the sexiest woman I'd ever seen. I realized her hands were shaking by her side and I took them in mine before making her swirl so that I could admire her properly.

"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen" I told her and she blushed deeply before putting her hands on my waist. She was looking for reassurance. I pulled her close and kissed her again; and her fingers hesitantly travelled to the top of my jeans.

I couldn't breathe anymore; anticipation was making me crazy but I knew I had to remain calm for her. I helped her with my jeans and her eyes widened as they fell on my bulge. I smiled and my lips found hers as I gently pushed her toward the bed. I kneeled in front of her once she was seated and removed each of her shoes. Her whole body was now shaking and I really didn't want her to feel that way, I wanted her to be comfortable; I wanted her to remember this moment as a perfect one.

"Hey" I whispered as I laid her down and hovered over her.

"We don't have to do this if you're not comfortable... but I'm not going to hurt you." I told her as I brushed my nose against hers.

"I know you won't but..." she started before stopping herself by biting down on her bottom lip; I wanted to do that, too.

"What is it?" I asked, my hand stroking her side.

"I'm just scared I'm not going to be any good at it" she confessed.

"Baby..." I murmured before taking her hand in mine and very slowly lowering it on top of my boxer. Her lips parted and I let out a shaky breath as she gently squeezed my erect member.

"You're already doing better than any girl I've ever been with." I told her and she smiled at me before sliding her hand under the elastic of my underwears.

I wanted her to experience it all but truth was I was afraid of coming too soon. I let her stroke me for a while, stifling my moans in her neck as I shut my eyes in pleasure.

I sat up and slid my hand behind her back before unclasping her bra; I let it fall on the floor next to the bed as my eyes stayed on her body. She had the most beautiful breasts I'd ever seen; they weren't really big but god were they well shaped. I brought my hands to her chest and started caressing her; my fingertips dancing over every inch of skin I could reach. I brushed my thumbs over her nipples and then rolled them in-between two fingers. I repeated my actions until they were fully erect and she started arching her back off the bed and grinding her hips on mine.

"Ash" she pleaded and I thought I was going to explode right here and then. I ran my hands down to her core and caressed her thighs for a while before taking her panties in-between my fingers and sliding them down. I ran a finger up her slits and she shifted under me; I wanted to taste her now but I thought it'd be a bit too much for a first time. She was wet, really wet and that surely was a good thing. I circled her clit and her fingertips dug into my arms as a moan left her lips. I carried on for a while, until she was grinding her hips against my hand. I reached out for my bag that was just beside the bed and slid my boxer down my legs as I took a condom.

I saw her gulp as I turned around and her eyes were on my shaft. I kissed her and brushed the hair out of her face before looking at her right in the eyes.

"It's gonna be okay, I'm gonna go slow and I'll pull out as soon as you're hurt" I told her and I really hoped I'd be able to keep my word. 

She took the condom out of my hand and opened the packet before shakily pinching the tip; I sat up and held my breath as she rolled it down on my erection. I put my forearms on both side of her head and positiones my tip at her entrance. I pecked her lips one last time before slowly pushing my tip in.

She gave me a small nod and I pushed a bit more in; she seemed okay but I didn't know if she was hiding her pain or if I really wasn't hurting her. As I finally pushed all the way in, she suddenly shut her eyes tightly. I felt my heart break and I considered stopping completly but she wrapped her arms around my back as soon as I started pulling out.  
  
"No! Just... give me a second" she pleaded.

"Okay" I agreed before kissing the top of her nose.

"You're huge" she said with a smile and I couldn't help but feel flattered.

She was very tight; her walls were hugging me tightly and I had to focus on holding my orgasm in as she tried to get used to the feeling.

"I think you can move" she whispered after a while and I pressed my lips down on hers before very slowly pulling out and pushing in again. I moaned as pleasure filled my body, I knew I wouldn't be able to last that much longer but I really wanted to make her come first.

"Are you okay?" I asked in a breath and she nodded before closing her eyes and arching her back. I placed my hand between our two bodies and started rubbing her clit. Her body started to shake and my name left her lips; I felt joy run through my veins as she started moaning. I picked up my pace but made sure my thrusts remained gentle as she tried to close her legs but my hips stopped her. That was a good sign.

"Ash, no, I..." she started to panic as I fell her walls clench around my erection.

"Oh god, it's okay, Kat, I've got you, you can let go" I breathed out and she pressed herself against me as my name left her lips; and she came around me, her arms holding me close as if she needed reassurance again. I watched her face closely and I gave a final thrust before stilling inside of her. My body tensed and I came inside the condom, my orgasm hitting me harder than ever before and my lips desperatly found hers as the last wave of pleasure struck me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN : What did you think about this chapter? I'm honestly really nervous about it and I'd really appreciate some feedback


	8. Eight

I woke up smiling the next morning. I opened my eyes and the only thing on my mind was images of the previous night; Ashton’s fingers on me, the things I felt, his words… Everything happened so perfectly. I brought a hand to my mouth to suppress the little giggle that threatened to escape; I didn’t know why I was laughing; that was just something that happened each time I was so happy that a wild smile wouldn’t be enough to express it.

Once I’d calmed down a little; I turned around and found myself face to face with a very sleepy and even cuter Ashton. I didn’t check the clock but I knew it was probably already late in the morning as the sun was pretty far up in the sky. His hand was resting in-between our two bodies and I gently took it in my own before pressing a light kiss on his cheek.

“Hmmm…” he groaned as a smile appeared on his face. I snuggled closer to him and he wrapped his arm around me before shifting a little so that his back was on the bed and my head was resting on his chest.

“Oh no!” he suddenly said; his tone taking me by surprise as everything was so peaceful just a second before. I lifted my head up and looked at him as his eyes were glued to the ceiling.

“What is it?” I asked, suddenly worried that this might have something to do with what happened the day before.

“I wanted to get up early and make you breakfast in bed…” he explained and he seemed really disappointed in himself.

“It’s fine, we can both have breakfast in the kitchen like normal people” I reassured, my hands coming up to his face and caressing his growing beard.

“Hmmm but I really, really wanted to; like I’d sworn to myself I’d do it” he replied and I smiled at how cute he was being.

“Well I can pretend I’m still asleep while you go to the kitchen and make breakfast if you want” I offered, my fingers now tracing imaginary lines on his chest.

“You’d do that?” he asked, his voice full of hope.

“Only if I get a kiss later” I smiled and he did too. He then got up and my head fell back on my pillow. I watched him disappear in the house and crossed my arms behind my head as I kept going back to the previous night.

He came back ten minutes later with a tray full of breakfast food; there were toasts, vegemite, Nutella, jam, cereals… It was way too much for the two of us but that also meant we had the choice to eat whatever we wanted. He came back in bed and placed the tray in-between the two of us before focusing his gaze on me. I started to become nervous as he didn’t say a thing and I was wondering if I had dry saliva on the corner of my mouth but he suddenly moved around the bed so that I was sitting between his legs.

“How are you feeling?” he asked and I placed my hand on his thighs before looking up at him.

“Amazing” I answered and he leaned in and pecked my lips.

We stayed in bed for two more hours, eating, chatting and kissing. It felt right; there was no other way to describe it. Everything seemed to make sense for once, my life, my past… I started thinking about Chris again, but I wasn’t as panicked this time; I suddenly felt strong enough to face things; and I even started imagining a meeting between the two of us, in which I’d just make it very clear that I now had a soul mate and he didn’t hold any place in my life anymore. I smiled to myself and closed my eyes as I embraced that newly found safeness.

“What is running through that pretty mind of yours?” Ashton sweetly asked as he taped his forefinger against my temple. I looked up at him and shook my head before pressing my cheek against his chest again. He let out a slight sigh and I wasn’t sure if that was just a random noise or if it meant something more.

“You remember that night at the bar? When you met Helena?” he suddenly asked and I scrunched my nose up in discomfort at the thought of that girl.

“Yeah?” I said, unsure of where this conversation was going.

“Well, although I wished things hadn’t happened that way; I really liked the little talk we had outside that night… You remember? We just had that little moment where we were both completely honest with each other and… You know, I was thinking, maybe we could make this a thing, maybe we could have honesty times every once in a while” he ranted and I had sat up during his little speech, supporting myself on my elbows as I looked up at him.

“Okay, but like, aren’t we supposed to be honest with each other all the time?” I asked, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“Yeah but it’s not about that it’s just… Sometimes we have things to say and it’s not necessarily super nice or we don’t know how to say it gently and I think that could be a thing for these occasions.” He explained and I felt my heart start to beat faster as I was afraid to guess where that was going.

“You wanna have one of those now? You have things to say?” I breathed out, nervousness making my voice shake. He nodded, and I detached myself from him, bracing myself for what he was going to say. I should’ve expected that, of course I sucked last night.

“Okay, well go ahead” I encouraged even though I knew I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. He took a big inspiration before opening his mouth.

“Okay huh… It’s just that, well I know you’re hiding something from me and I just feel like it’s not really fair. I mean, I know something big happened last week and I know you’re really trying with me but if I’m being completely honest it kills me not to know. And I don’t know why you’re not telling me, I don’t know if you’re afraid about me judging you; I don’t know if you think I’d ever leave you or something… I just don’t know and it kind of drives me crazy” he said, his mouth twisting in a frown at the end. He said it in the most gentle way possible; he was just expressing his feelings and I was so grateful for the way he did it. I let out a small giggle and he raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“I’m sorry it’s just… wow I’m relieved!” I explained and I took the tray away from the covers and put it on the floor before getting closer to him.

“Why?” he asked, his hands instinctively coming to my waist as I straddled his thighs.

“I thought you were about to say something about last night” I admitted, placing my hands on his shoulders to support myself.

“Hmm… I actually have something to say about that” he smiled, one of his hands travelling to the back of my neck as he pulled me closer and pressed his lips to mine. “It was amazing and I can’t wait to do it again… and again” he murmured against my skin, a smile appearing on his face. I chuckled and kissed him once more before closing my eyes and pushing myself away from him.

“Let me talk, now” I jokingly complained; “okay first… can you promise me to listen to me until I’m done?” I asked and he nodded; “and can you promise you’ll stay calm and just don’t do anything, no matter what?” I said with a more serious tone.

“Should I be worried?” he asked, sitting up straight and placing his hands on my thighs to make sure I wouldn’t move.

“No! I’m about to tell you what happened last week, I just need to be sure you won’t overreact.” I explained and he cocked his head to the side.

“Okay?” he answered and he seemed really unsure.

“Okay let’s go then! I’ve never had to tell this story to anyone so I’m sorry if it doesn’t make sense but I’ll try and make it as clear as possible… Okay, so that happened two years ago; so that’s history, it really is, it’s behind me, it’s over. I huh… I was dating that boy, he was 3 years older than me, I was 16 and he was 19, I don’t know why that seemed like a good idea back then. He had already met his soul mate but she died in a car accident so he wasn’t emotionally attached to anyone, nor was he waiting for someone… I was young and he was attractive and I was looking for a bit of affection.

“We started dating and everything was perfect; he was cute and super sweet and a gentlemen and he was basically everything a girl could ever ask for. He was older, as I already said and had a lot more experience than me; you know I was a virgin and we did make out a few times but it never went further than that. But one day, we were up in his room, and we started kissing and everything and he started undressing me; I stopped him at some point and told him that I didn’t feel like doing it with him until I had met my so called soul mate. I expected him to break up with me… I was basically asking him to wait 2 years for me, that was insane and I knew he couldn’t so I thought he’d just ask me to leave and never speak to me again.

“But he didn’t. I saw the look in his eyes turn from lust to anger and he… he suddenly slapped me. It came from nowhere and I was shocked, the Chris I knew would have never done that. He didn’t stop here though, I was in my underwear and he started hitting me, repeatedly. I won’t go into details but I ended up passed out on his bedroom floor and he left me there alone. His parents found me a few hours later and took me to the hospital, I had a few broken ribs, I suffered a severe hemorrhage under my right lung and had a small brain contusion. I’m totally fine now though, it was just a bit of a traumatism.

“He was out of town before I even got to the hospital and his parents made sure he wouldn’t be back for a while; they were really ashamed of what he did and couldn’t stop apologizing for him. I didn’t hear from him for two years… until last weekend. He was at the milkshake shop near my apartment; and he saw me, he had a weird smile on his face… I don’t know” I finished and when I finally looked up, Ashton’s eyes were focused on a spot behind my head; I frowned and turned around but there was nothing, nothing but the walls of this incredibly beautiful bedroom.

His jaw was tensed and I couldn’t read his face I reached up and placed my palm on his cheek and he finally looked at me.

“I can’t believe it” he let out, his voice barely audible even though the room was completely silent.

“It’s okay, really, it’s in the past now” I reassured and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders before pressing myself against him. He slowly relaxed again me and after what seemed like an eternity, he inched his hands up on my back and hugged me close to him.

“So he’s back in town?” he asked in a low voice and I shook my head against him.

“I don’t know and it doesn’t matter… Ashton, you promised you wouldn’t do anything” I remarked and he let out a long sigh before placing his hands on my shoulders and holding me at arm length.

“Okay but you have to promise me that if you ever see him again, or hear from him in anyway, you’ll tell me right away” he requested and I slowly nodded before cupping his face and pressing my lips to his.


	9. Nine.

We ended up taking a quick trip to the supermarket and buying lots of fruits and a bikini for me. We pretty much spent the day on the beach; eating, playing in the water and making out occasionally. It felt nice to just relax and do nothing; for the first time since I'd met Ashton, it seemed like everything was absolutely fine; no secret, no holding back... Just two young adults having fun.

We eventually got back to Sidney and I invited Ashton over to stay at my place for the night but he had band practice and he explained that he couldn't really bail on his bandmates as they had already postponed it so that we could get away for the weekend. He stopped the car in front of my building and turned his head to me, his hand finding mine on my thigh as he laced our fingers together.

"What’s his name?" He asked, as if we'd never stopped talking about him.

"Does it really matter?" I gently asked, my thumb brushing over his knuckles as I tried to get his mind off of this story.

"Kind of... I don't know I just don't have any idea what he looks like and I just need to at least put a name on the idea I have of him" he explained and for some twisted reasons, I totally understood what he meant.

"Chris" I told him and he nodded before opening his door and getting out of the car. He walked me to my front door and I turned toward him before wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Thank you for this magical weekend" I murmured before getting on my tiptoes and placing a chaste kiss on his lips. "Thank you for being so perfect" I added as I pulled away and pressed my right cheek against his chest. He didn't say anything but he held me close and it meant everything; he was still here.

"I'm going to be late" he stated as his grip loosened and I took a step back as he cupped my face with both his hands and kissed me passionately before walking back to his car.

I spent the night writing that day; I wrote about what happened, making sure I wasn't forgetting any details so that I could relive that weekend for the rest of my life; I wrote about love, about the idea of perfection; and I wrote about happiness.

Ashton's POV :

I drove as fast as I legally could to Calum's house where Luke and Michael were also supposed to be by now. I parked in front of the building and opened the front door without knocking.

"Hey mate!" Calum greeted as soon as he saw me; "how did it go?" He absentmindedly asked as he opened his fridge and handed me a beer.

"Amazing" I beamed, a huge grin appearing on my face as I couldn't hide my happiness any longer.

"Oh my god! So you did get laid!" He teased and I punched his shoulder as he started laughing uncontrollably.

"Shut up! It's not only about that!" I informed him but he wasn't really listening to me anymore anyway.

"Yeah sure! So what is she like in bed?" He retorted and I considered punching him in the face for a second but... well it was Calum, no one could really be mad at Calum, ever.

"I'm not answering that!" I exclaimed and he shrugged before walking toward his garage where band practice usually took place.

“By the way, Luke has some news, he didn’t tell us yet but he seems pretty excited” Calum called as I followed him closely. It was my turn to shrug as I wondered what on earth he could possibly tell us; but it was Luke we were talking about, he was probably going to say something really awkward and childish and that was exactly why we all loved him.

Michael and him were sitting on the small couch and Luke got up as soon as he saw us enter the room. He mentioned for Calum and me to go seat with Michael and stood in front of us, twisting his fingers in excitement as he waited for us to pay attention.

“Okay so guys, something REALLY big happened this weekend!” He announced, a huge smile on his face and his eyes shining.

“Okay just say it already, Luke, we have to start now!” Michael said, annoyance clear in his voice, but that was just how he always talked so no one really paid attention anymore.

“Well I got a message from Adam Wilkinson; he said that he saw talent in us and that he wanted to see how we could work together… GUYS! He works with EMI and Capitol Records it could be so huuuuge!” he said and my lips were parted; my brain unable to form words as the news started to sink in.

I had heard about that man so many times before; he was a reference when it came to music in Australia and any Australian artist that wanted to get bigger would try and get his attention.

“Wait… how did he hear about us?” I suddenly asked, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I tried to remember where we’d played this past few weeks.

“At the studio… He was there when we recorded ‘I Miss you’ and he wants to see where he could take us” Luke answered. He was the youngest but in a way he was also the core of the band. He started it and him and his mother were really into it; they created a Facebook page a while ago and that’s how Adam Wilkinson contacted him.

“And he said he’d get back to us really soon to schedule something… Like a meeting or something” Luke added and I stood up and went to hug him, the rest of the boys following me as we all took in the amazing news.

Band practice went very well that day; we played and played for hours until we were completely satisfied with what came out of our instruments. For the first time ever, we were really serious about it and it felt different; a good different.

I went home and took a shower before calling Katy. I wanted to share that with her, but I also wanted to tell her in person.

“Hey, baby, is there any chance we can have lunch together tomorrow?” I asked as soon as she picked up.

“Huh I was supposed to have lunch with Greg and Linda… I mean you can come of course, but it won’t be just the two of us.” She answered and she seemed really sorry about that.

“No that’s perfect! I have something to tell you, I can’t wait!” I answered excitedly.

“You can’t say that and then don’t tell me what the news is, come on Ashton!” She whined and I chuckled as I shook my head.

“Huh huh, baby! You’ll just have to wait! See you tomorrow!” I yelled before hanging up and falling face first on my bed. Too many good things had happened these last couple of days and I was scared I was just going to wake up from that amazing dream.

I entered the small diner and immediately spotted Katy with her friends, seated at a small table. She was laughing with them and I took a second to admire her, the way her nose scrunched up and she held her hand in front of her mouth to prevent her friends from seeing what she was eating.

“Hey baby” I said as I slid on the booth next to her, putting my arm around her shoulders and pulling her close as I briefly placed my lips on hers.

She blushed slightly and butterflies started to appear in my stomach as I happily greeted her friends who were smiling at us.

“What’s the news, then?!” She immediately asked me and I raised my eyebrows a few time before taking a chips out of her plate and putting it in my mouth.

“A manager contacted us, he wants to work with us and see where he can take us” I announced proudly and she gasped as she looked at me with wide eyes.

Katy’s POV:

I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. There was no word to express how proud of them I was. They deserved it; they were really passionate when it came to music and they were insanely talented as well. It was bound to happen, I was just so happy that things were working for them.

“Oh my god I’m so happy for you!” I said, my head in his neck as he held me close; I was almost sitting on his laps but I didn’t really care.

“Thank you, baby, I can’t wait to see what happens!” he answered before kissing me. I could feel his smile and I couldn’t help mine to grow bigger.

He ordered a burger while I finished mine and asked for a milkshake; we were all laughing and the tensions between Greg and Ashton seemed totally forgotten; they even talked about boy stuffs together while I looked at my boyfriend, prouder than ever.

“Katy?” a voice interrupted my contemplation; and I immediately recognized it. My gaze crossed Linda’s and Greg’s as I slowly turned my head to see Chris, standing at the end of our table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN : How was that guys? I really hope you liked it!


	10. Ten.

“Oh huh, hi!” I answered, my voice shaking at the end as I tried to act normal; although I was painfully aware that Ashton was seating right next to me.

 

“How have you been? It’s been a while!” he said, cocking his head to the side, a small smirk appearing on his lips; the same one he had when I saw him at the milkshake bar.

 

“Good… Look, I’m kind of busy right now so huh…” I started, hoping he’d get the message and just walk away.

 

“Oh but I could seat with you, just like old times” he answered, not the least affected by what I’d just said.

 

“Look, Chris, I think it’s better if you just fuck off and get out right now!” Greg suddenly spoke up, trying to contain his anger and I pressed my lips together as I felt Ashton tense up beside me.

 

“Chris?” he murmured. I turned my head in time to see him stand up, his fists clenched to his side as he pushed the table aside as if it weighted nothing and walked toward Chris.

 

“You’re fucking Chris!” He repeated as he wrapped one of his hands around his neck and started backing him up against the nearest wall.

 

“Ashton!” I yelled; standing up, too and walking toward them. I couldn’t believe just how fast he’d moved. He didn’t even look at me; it was like I wasn’t there anymore. Chris’ back was now against a wall and Ashton was muttering things under his breath as his hands were still around my ex’s neck.

 

“Ashton!” I repeated as I finally made my way to him and grabbed his forearm. I tried to tug on it but he didn’t budge; all his muscles were flexed and I suddenly felt so small compared to him. “Please, Ashton just let it go” I pleaded but he didn’t seem to hear me. I stepped in front of him; in-between the two men and cupped his face; trying to force him to look at him and he eventually did.

 

“Ashton, don’t be stupid, please just let it go” I said, and his hand left Chris’ neck; he let out a sigh and then looked over my shoulder. I could tell he was trying to calm himself down and for a second I thought everything was going to be just fine.

 

“What a man!” I heard Chris sarcastically exclaim as I felt two hands grab my hips from behind. I tried to move away from his grasp but he pulled me against him so that my backside was pressed against his front.

 

Ashton shoved me away from the two of them; roughly pushing me; and I would have fallen to the floor if it wasn’t for Linda. I was shocked and my hands flew to my mouth as Ashton’s fist crashed into Chris’ jaw; the breaking sound making goose bumps rise on my skin.

 

“NO ASHTON!” I yelled again; both really mad and worried.

 

“I’m going to have to ask you to leave the place, young people” a deep voice said from behind us and we all turned around to see a waiter standing in front of us; his hands on his hips as he looked at us in a challenging way. I went to Ashton again and he spoke as soon as my hand made contact with is arm.

 

“Stay out of this, Katy” he ordered; authority evident in his tone as he grabbed Chris by the collar and started walking toward the front door.

 

“No Ashton, listen to me!” I replied as I grabbed the end of his t-shirt.

 

“Greg, take her home” He immediately said and my mouth fell open. I couldn’t believe he’d just said that. I felt Greg’s arms wrap around my waist and he walked me out of the restaurant.

 

“No” I weakly protested but I was too shocked to do anything and next thing I knew I was in my car, on the passenger side and Greg was driving through the city. He dropped me off in front of my building and anger started to take over my mind as I entered my apartment.

 

I couldn’t believe this; I couldn’t believe he’d start a fight in the first place; I couldn’t believe he had pushed me away the way he did; and I couldn’t believe he’d ordered Greg to take me home, as if all of this was none of my business.

 

I threw my keys and purse on the floor and angrily walked to the couch; I wanted to break everything; I wanted to get back there and punch Ashton in the face. That was insane; I wasn’t even mad at Chris anymore; he’d barely done anything, he was just being his cocky self… But Ashton… I couldn’t believe I’d trusted him with my past; I’d made him promise he wouldn’t do anything about that and he didn’t keep his word. He didn’t respect me.

 

Tears started running down my face but I wasn’t sad; I was just seeing red. As always when I found myself overwhelmed by a feeling; I turned my computer on and started writing. I wrote about betrayal; I wrote about anger; I wrote about trust and I wrote about disappointment. It was an aggressive piece, to say the least but that’s how I felt and I needed to lay it down.

 

I re-read it and sent it to my literature teacher. She’d asked us to make sure we sent her everything we ever wrote. Most of the time, she wouldn’t even mention it; but sometimes she’d ask to talk to one of us at the end of the class and she’d just comment on the good and bad things. I loved this method; and even though I knew this piece was both raw and violent I didn’t hesitate one second before pressing the ‘send’ button.

 

And then I was alone. I wanted to call someone; I wanted to talk about it, vent my spleen; but it felt like I had no one. The first person I wanted to talk to was my mum; but I knew that telling her about Chris being back wouldn’t be such a great idea; same went for my brother. I couldn’t talk to Ashton, I was way too mad; I didn’t know how I felt about Greg either… He was the one who dragged me out and decided to follow Ashton’s orders instead of listening to me. I could still call Linda; she’d seen it all and she’d always been a very good listener after all.

 

I dialed her number and started biting on my nails as I waited for her to answer; it went to voicemail after two beeps and that could only mean she’d ignored the call. And now I was mad at the whole world. I didn’t have any message, or text. It felt like everyone had stopped caring at the same time and it hurt. I cried a lot that night.

 

Realization hit me at college the next day. I hadn’t really made any friend there; I started here thinking that I’d always have Linda and Greg anyway and that I didn’t really need to meet new people. I didn’t know how wrong I was until then. Everything was hanging by a thread; all it took was a few sentences from my ex-boyfriend and everyone was going crazy and excluding me as they tried to deal with it on my behalf.

 

I ate at the college cafeteria for once; and I decided to go seat with three people I was in literature with. The first person I recognized was a blond girl named Mary; she was tiny in every way; she was pretty small; really thin and just everything about her made her seemed very tiny. She was sat with her soul mate; Jon, who was a pretty good looking man. He had a well-shaped beard and he looked very artsy; and beside them was a girl named Emma. She seemed like a very nice girl and she made me feel very welcome; I soon realized that she never stopped laughing and that was a good thing because her smile was infectious.

 

I felt like a new person when I came back home that night; and I started wondering why I hadn’t done that sooner. I had given my phone number to Mary, Jon and Emma and we had decided to meet for coffee the next day; just before our first class.

 

I checked my phone just before going to bed and my eyes widen as I read the screen. Linda had tried to call me once; Greg tried two times and Ashton five. I also had nineteen unread texts and tears immediately filled my eyes. I knew I had to read them and at least call Linda back but I didn’t feel strong enough for some reasons. It had been so easy to just pretend for one day that none of this had happened.

 

I let out a big sigh and opened Linda’s texts first:

 

**How are you holding up? I know you might be mad but I think Ashton did the right thing. He just wanted to protect you xx**

 

**Kat? Come on, at least tell me how you’re doing Greg and I are worried right now xx**

 

**Just to be clear if you still haven’t answered by Wednesday Greg and I are breaking into your apartment ;) xx**

 

Then there were Greg’s:

 

**Look, I know you’re probably super-duper mad rn… But I don’t regret what I did and I hope you understand xxx**

 

**Come on don’t be like this!! YOU’RE MY BESTEST FRIEND OF THE UNIVERSE YOU CAN’T NOT TALK TO ME!**

 

**Okay then…**

 

**I HAVE MEXICAN FOOD AND POPCORN AND EAT PRAY LOVE ON MY COMPUTER!!! Please, I think we both need an epic movie night right now.**

 

And then Ashton’s:

 

**Please call me when you get this, baby… I think we need to talk xx**

 

**I know you’re mad but we need to talk about this so we can leave it behind and move on xx**

 

**Baby…**

 

**Kat, please**

 

**Look, I’m not sorry for what I did, but I’m ready to discuss it with you please just call me**

 

**Katy…**

 

**Come on, don’t do this**

 

**I couldn’t just let him get away with it… The way he talked to you was too much, honestly how did you expect me to react?**

 

**I’m sorry, if that’s what you want to read, then I’M SORRY now talk to me please**

 

**For god’s sake Katy, call me!**

 

**Now what does that mean??? Are you going to ignore me for the rest of your life? Why are you even making a big deal out of it??? I just need some answers, baby…**

 

**And to hear your voice**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN : I know this chapter was really weird and I hope it wasn't too boring!


	11. Eleven

I was feeling a lot better when I met Emma, Mary and Jon the next day; I’d called Linda and we talked and talked for hours until we both fell asleep. I still hadn’t talked to Greg or Ashton but I still didn’t feel ready for that.

Emma noticed that something wasn’t completely okay with me and suggested to go clubbing that night. I wasn’t too familiar with clubs and dancing wasn’t particularly my thing but I was trying new thing and that was probably a perfect occasion. The day went on rather quickly and I spent most of my classes planning the night with Emma; she was going to pick me up at 7 and we were going to go eat something with Mary before heading to a club they both liked.

I ran out of the shower; a towel tightly wrapped around my body as I made my way over to my cupboard and started searching for the little black dress I had decided on wearing. I put it on and adjusted it before walking back to the bathroom to apply a bit of makeup. I took special care of my hair; curling it to perfection before letting it fall down my back.

I was just about to put my heels on and put a few essentials in my purse when I heard a knock on my front door.

“COME IN! THE DOOR’S UNLOCKED!” I yelled after checking the time. I was a bit late and I hurried toward my room; putting my phone, a lipstick and a small mirror in my clutch bag before sitting on my bed and sliding my feet into a pair of black high heels.

“I’m gonna be ready in a minute; I’m so sorry” I said to Emma after I’d heard her come in. She didn’t answer and I wondered if she was mad at me but shrugged as I thought she probably didn’t even hear me.

I walked to the living room and grabbed my coat before turning around; a big smile on my face.

“Okay we can g-” I stopped dead in my track as the person who was standing in front of me looked nothing like Emma.

“Where are you going?” Ashton asked; his voice hesitant as he didn’t make a move to get closer; which I was happy about.

“Huh… Out with a friend… What are you doing here?” I asked; trying not to sound too harsh as all I could see when I looked at him was his fist colliding with Chris’ jaw.

“You haven’t called back” he stated and he looked so lost I felt the urge to wrap my arms around him. But then I heard his cold voice in the back of my mind; asking Greg to take me away and anger rose in my chest again.

“I’m too mad at you right now” I answered before turning around toward the door; hoping that Emma would just knock and save me from my own soul mate.

“Honesty time?” he asked; hope evident on his face as he raised his eyebrows and gave me a small smile. That was probably the last thing he should’ve said, though.

“Honesty time? You’re calling an honesty time, now? Let me remind you the last time I decided to be totally honest with you; you decided to break your promise and my trust with it. So what’s the point? Tell me, Ashton!” I shouted; tears appearing in the corners of my eyes as I felt my whole body heat up.

He opened his mouth and was just about to reply when a small knock stopped him and I shook my head before walking to my front door and letting Emma in. She hugged me and waved at Ashton before frowning at me.

“You didn’t tell me one of your friends would come to; I’m so happy to meet you…”

“Ashton; but he’s not coming with us” I answered, my voice as cold as ever as I gave him a look that indicated that he had to leave. He looked frustrated and that made me happy somehow; he couldn’t say anything anymore; he now knew just how mad I was and he’d have to think about it for tonight at least.

“Please call me” Ashton pleaded before walking past me and Emma and leaving my apartment. My shoulders fell as soon as he’d passed the door and I realized I had absolutely no idea when I’d see him again.

“Okay you definitely need a night out” Emma said before linking her arm with mine and walking me toward her car.

I came back home at 4 in the morning and didn’t stop throwing up until 7. That’s how wasted we all got. But to be very honest; I had a fantastic night; I had fun; I danced and I discovered that Emma and I had a lot in common. She was such a sweet girl and I felt like we could become close friends really soon.

I went to bed and didn’t wake up until noon which meant that I had missed classes. I groaned as I rolled on my bed and grabbed my phone; Emma had sent me a text twenty minutes before asking me if maybe I was a little less hangover than her. And then there was a text from Ashton.

**I know you’re still mad and I hope we find a way to talk about this soon because it’s killing me… We’re performing at the Enmore Theatre next Friday and that guy I told you about is going to be here… It’s going to be a really important night for us and I hope you’ll be here xx**

I spent the next few days trying to figure out whether or not I should go; I met Emma and Linda and the three of us discussed the situation over lunch, as if we were deciding to sign a business deal. I knew I was going to go anyway. I wanted to talk this through; I wanted to hear what he had to say even though I knew I wouldn’t like it.

So on Friday, I put on some skinny jeans and a cute top before heading to the Enmore Theatre, on my own. I ordered a drink as soon as I got in and sat at the back; making sure I could still see the stage. The show was amazing; then times better than the first one I saw and they’d already taken my breath away back then. I stood up and didn’t stop clapping until they were all out of the stage and the lights had come back on. Ashton didn’t see me; he was pretty hidden behind his drum kit and even though my eyes never left him; they never met his either.

I was still standing up when I felt a slight touch on the small of my back; I quickly turned around and was met with his mesmerizing hazel eyes. I bit down on my lips and had to remind myself that I was mad at him as he stood there; sweaty, tall and dark in front of me.

“Let’s go somewhere quiet” he sweetly said before putting both his hands on my hips and pushing me through the crowd in front of him; we arrived in front of a huge door and he put one of his hands on it before pushing it open.

We were standing in a dark and dirty little alley and goose bumps rose on my skin as I turned around and faced Ashton; disgust probably evident on my face.

“That’s a little-” I started but he cut me off; crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yell at me” He instructed and my mouth stayed opened as I confusedly looked at him.

“What?” I breathed out.

“Come on, yell at me, no one can hear us here” he repeated and I found myself speechless and unable to form a sentence as he waited for me to go out of my mind.

“I don’t even know where to start” I stated and he looked at me expectantly; “do you?” I added; thinking that I came here to listen to what he had to say in the first place.

“Yes, I do. These last f-” he started but the door suddenly swung opened behind him and Michael’s colored head appeared as he smiled at me before looking at Ashton.

“Ash, Adam is waiting for you, he wants to talk to the four of us, like now” Michael said; his mouth twisting as he probably realized he was interrupting an important discussion.

“I’ll be here in a few minutes just please start without me” Ashton immediately answered and I frowned as Michael shrugged and disappeared inside.

“No, it’s important, just go!” I said; my hand nonchalantly pointing toward the door; he suddenly seemed deeply hurt; “I’ll wait for you guys to be done; don’t worry I’ll still be here; we really need to have this discussion” I reassured and he took a step toward me before stopping abruptly and nodding at me.

“Thank you; just go back inside I’ll try to be back as quickly as possible” he said before opening the door and waiting for me to step in.

The place was crowded and loud music was coming from the speakers; I looked around and I didn’t know anyone. So I just waited there; and I started thinking about what I was going to say; what really mattered and I listed the possibilities; this discussion was going to change our relationship one way or the other. Suddenly the air became too thick and I was hot; too hot. I tied my hair in a messy bun on top of my head and tried to focus on breathing in and out; my hand on top of my heart as I tried to study my heartbeat. I was so scared. I didn’t want to lose him; but I didn’t want to let him think that what he did was okay. I lost track of time; I was just there, leaning against a wall; trying to calm myself down when a hand grabbed my elbow. I jerked away and relaxed as soon as I saw that it was just Ashton.

“Katy? Are you okay?” he asked concerned and I nodded before wiping my sweaty forehead.

“Yeah I just… Need some air” I weakly said and Ashton wrapped his arm around my waist before safely walking me toward the familiar grey door we’d already walked through earlier.

“We’ll talk outside” he said and his breath caressed the back of my neck. His arms around me; his mouth near my ear… Oh god, I’d missed this.


	12. Twelve.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You look really pale right now” Ashton asked as soon as we’d stepped outside; a frown forming on his face as he intently looked at me.

“Yeah just huh… I don’t know it was just all too much inside” I tried to explain; confusion taking over me as I didn’t understand why my body had reacted that way. “So how did it go?” I asked; referring to the little meeting the band just had with that guy.

“Can we please talk about that later?” he asked, unsure. I nodded; all I wanted was for us to just put this all behind.

“What happened to him? I mean… What did you do to Chris?” I asked; my voice came out stronger than I think it would and I mentally high-fived myself as a small satisfied smile appeared on my face.

“That’s the first thing you want to know?” he asked; genuinely surprised.

“Well… Yes” I answered and pain flashed across his eyes as he suddenly looked away and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Because after everything he’s done to you, you still care about him?” he said and it was almost a statement. Anger started to rise in my chest. It had nothing to do with me caring about him.

“No. Because he’s a human being and I need to know if I’m responsible for a broken nose or a murder.” I retorted; trying to stay as calm as possible but he wasn’t making it easy.

“You think I’d kill him?! And you’re not responsible for anything I’m the one who hit him.” He half-yelled. He still thought he hadn’t done anything wrong.

“I don’t know, Ashton! I don’t know, okay! Because I’d never thought you’d do what you did in the first place and I just don’t know how far you’re capable of going! And I’m responsible for thrusting you with something like that” I spat; all the anger I had bottled up finally coming out of my chest. He took a step back; as if I had pushed him before squaring his shoulders and flexing his biceps against his chest.

“Okay this won’t work if we don’t discuss it calmly… how in the world did you expect me not to do anything when I saw him?” he asked and I had to close my eyes and take a huge breath before answering.

“I made you promise you wouldn’t do anything. Before I told you the whole story; I don’t know if you remember but you promised. And I wouldn’t have told you anything if you hadn’t promised; meaning I did trusted you to keep your word. And you didn’t” I explained and sadness tinted my voice as I realized that I wasn’t really angry after all; I was mostly hurt.

He parted his lips and his eyes went to the floor as I think he finally realized what this was all about. He turned around and brought his hands to his face before running his fingers through his hair. He didn’t know what to say.

“What happened to him?” I asked again; my voice a lot softer this time and he didn’t turn around as he answered.

“I think he spent a day at the hospital… Maybe two. Just broken bones, though” he weakly said and I nodded even though he couldn’t see me. That wasn’t too bad but I hoped he was okay, now. Ashton finally turned around and my eyes searched his but he wouldn’t look at me.

“I meant it. When I made that promise I really meant it and I thought I’d be able to keep it…. And I know this is no excuse but maybe I wouldn’t have broken it if he hadn’t been so cocky…. I mean did you hear him? He doesn’t regret what he did one bit!” he let out and it didn’t sound like he was trying to explain himself; he just seemed genuinely sorry and I did appreciate that.

“I know… And I kind of… I mean he scared me, to be honest but… Okay honestly I just needed you. I needed you to just be here for me and take me in your arms and tell me I was going to be alright but you just acted as if I wasn’t there and asked Greg to take me away and I just needed you” I broke down tears slowly escaping my eyes as my shoulders fell and I finally let my guard down.

He brought a hand to his mouth and looked up to the sky; he seemed chocked; and pained. I swiped my thumbs under my eyes and tried to dry my tears as I waited for him so say something.

“I’m so fucking sorry” he finally let out; “I’m so… Fuck! I didn’t know you were feeling that way; I would’ve… Fuck!” He wasn’t talking to me anymore; he just seemed really mad at himself and it hurt me to see him like that. That’s not what I wanted; I just wanted him to understand.

“Ashton” I called out; my voice weak and shaky. I waited for him to look at me. “I’m still scared” I added; trying not to sob and his hands fell to his side as he took a second to understand what I was trying to say.

He took a step toward me and made sure I didn’t flinch away before extending his arms and grabbing my hips. He pulled me to him and next thing I knew I was enveloped in the most comforting hug I’d ever received. I tried not to sob but tears starting running down my face and I couldn’t stop them anymore. He started to soothe my back and placed his forehead on my shoulder; breathing deeply.

“Shh baby; you’re alright; he won’t hurt you anymore; I’m here” he kept murmuring in my ear and somehow, I believed him. I pulled away after a few minutes and he seemed reluctant to let me go but I had something else in mind.

I knew my cheeks were wet and my lips a bit swollen but I didn’t care. I got on my tiptoes and angrily pressed my them on his; it’d been too long.

_Ashton’s POV:_

Her lips touched mine and one of my hands immediately went to the back of her neck as I held her close. I couldn’t describe the way it felt to finally kiss her; after all this time of not talking to her; of worrying she’d never want to see me again. I felt her small fingers tangle in my hair and she gently pulled on it; the feeling going straight to my groin and I placed my other hand on the small of her back; my fingers splaying on her shirt as I pressed her against me.

She let out the smallest moan and I let my tongue wander out of my mouth and past her lips. I wanted to back her up against the wall but I knew it wouldn’t be comfortable for her so I just kept kissing her here. She eventually pulled away and her lips immediately went to my jaw; she then started kissing down my neck. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back to expose more of my skin; a breath left my lip as she started sucking on the side of my Adam apple. I could feel all my blood rushing straight to my center.

“Not here” I let out; my words taking me by surprise as my arms were still holding her as close as possible. She didn’t seem to hear me and her fingers pulled the top of my shirt down as she started attacking my chest with her skillful lips. I was already getting hard and I knew she could feel it as she started rolling her hips into mine.

“Not here; Katy, please” I pleaded; I needed her to stop because it’d soon be too late.

“But what if I want you to fuck me here, Ashton?” she answered; her mouth brushing over my collarbone as she spoke and I felt my erection stir against my pants as I pictured it. Her tiny hands grabbing onto my tensed shoulders as I’d pound into her; my fingers digging into the flesh of her thighs as I’d try my best not to come too soon… Her walls pulsing around me… My name falling from her lips… And my teeth slightly biting into her collarbone as I’d finally let go…

“No” I let out; it was barely audible but I cupped her face and pulled her mouth away from me as I gulped and looked into her eyes. They were still slightly red and she looked so wild. “Trust me I do want it… But Katy you’re almost a virgin I don’t want to hurt you” I told her; my thumbs brushing over her softs cheeks as she seemed to understand what I meant. She blushed and bit down on her lower lip as her eyes focused on a random point behind me.

“Sorry” she muttered, embarrassed; and it took everything in me not to crash my lips on hers and just take her in this dirty dark alley.

“Don’t be sorry; baby. I’ll just take you home instead and make love to you for the rest of the night” I answered before pecking her lips and taking one of her hands in mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN : Are you guys happy with the way it turned out? What do you think will happen next?


	13. Thirteen.

Ashton had his hands on my thigh the whole ride back home; I was driving and trying to focus on the road while he kept taping his left foot on the ground. I didn’t know whether he was nervous or just impatient but I didn’t feel like asking him; the sexual tension between our two bodies was almost palpable and being stuck in such a small space really wasn’t helping my messed up heartbeats.

I was driving over the speed limit and I knew it wasn’t safe but I wasn’t even thinking anymore; desire was swallowing me whole and I could feel my skin burning under Ashton’s fingertips. A moan could have left my mouth right then and there and none of us would have been surprised.

I eventually parked in front of my building and we didn’t say a word as we both got out of the car; his hand was on the small of my back as soon as I was by his side and we both hurriedly walked toward the front door. I searched for my keys and opened it; Ashton immediately pushed me inside, his arm securely holding me against him as he closed the door behind him.

I turned around and his hands found my hips as he pushed me against the wall and attached his lips to mine; his breathing was uneven and his chest was heaving against my own as he kissed me like never before. I brought my hands up to the back of his head and tangled my fingers in his hair as his tongue entered my mouth and started dancing with mine.

 I had never felt that way before; such hunger and fever, all boiling inside of me. I didn’t know how to deal with it all but I knew Ashton was in the same state and it probably wasn’t the first time he was experiencing it; he knew how to handle it. But I didn’t want to think about him with other girls; I wanted him for myself; I wanted to see him lose himself in me and I wanted to make him feel ways he’d never felt before.

He suddenly took my bottom lip in-between his teeth and I opened my eyes to see him looking at me. My breath got caught in my throat at the fire that was turning his hazel eyes into much darker ones. I leaned in and pressed my wet lips to his again; it felt like I’d never get enough of him; I placed my hands on his shoulders; under the jacket he’d put on top of his tank top and pushed it off his body; I didn’t wait another second before grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulling it over his head; his hands leaving my body for a second before cupping my face and pressing his forehead against mine.

“Wow, easy, baby” he murmured; his eyes closing for a second as he gulped and then looked at me again.

“I wanna do something for you” I announced; my left hands running down his chest before stopping just above the waist line of his jeans. He furrowed his eyebrows before tilting his head back and letting out a long breath.

“Kat I-I oh god!” he started; his hands travelling to my hips again as his fingers slid under my top; the tips slightly digging into my skin. “I swear to god I’d fuck you right up against this wall if I could and I would let you fuck me with your mouth until I’m coming down your throat and then I’d eat you out until you literally can’t take it anymore and beg me to stop but… but, baby, we can’t do that just yet and I really need you right now… I swear I want your lips around me but if we do that know I’m going to lose it” he said and he sounded so out of breath and frustrated; I cupped his cheeks and brought his lips to mine.

“Make love to me; then” I whispered against them and it took him a second to pull my shirt above my head before reattaching our lips; his hands grabbing the back of my thighs as he hauled me up and pressed his center against mine. I could feel his erection through both our jeans and I knew I was at least as aroused as he was.

“Ashton” I let out as I somehow managed to rub my groin against his.

“Again” he growled; taking me by surprise and I repeated my action and let out a moan as I felt pressure on my clit. “That’s right! Just like that! Come on, again” he instructed and I didn’t stop this time; my body moving against his as his lips worked their way down my jaw, neck, collarbone and stopped just above my bra.

My back suddenly left the wall as he made his way toward my bedroom and put me down at the end of the bed; I looked down at his bulge as he brought his hands to my back and unclasped my bra. I let him slid it down my shoulders before brushing my fingers over his boner; tracing the outline before wrapping my whole hand around it.

“Hmm are you trying to kill me?” he moaned before attacking my breasts with his skillful lips. He started nibbling and sucking as I undid the top button of his jeans and slowly pulled them down; just enough to reveal his way too tight boxer.

I pressed my palm against him and started rubbing him up and down; a strange curiosity driving me as I found his slits with my thumb and started applying pressure. I suddenly felt his teeth sink on the spot he’d just been sucking on and I winced slightly before looking up to see him pull away and grab my face in desperation. He kissed me sloppily as my hand kept caressing him through his underwear and his breathing was loud and heavy as he devoured me.

“What are you doing to me?” he murmured as he took my hand in his and placed a single kiss on my palm. “I’m a stroke away from coming we’re really gonna have to slow it down” he added before kissing my shoulder and pulling the zipper of my jeans down and sliding the material down my legs. He took my hands in his and turned us around before lying on the bed; pulling me with him so that I was forced to straddle his thighs.

“Like that?” I asked; curiosity and excitement evident in my voice as I looked at him with wide eyes.

“Like that” he confirmed; a smirk on his face as he watched me settle myself just on top of his crotch. His smile suddenly faded as he looked around and spotted his jeans at the end of the bed. “I think I have a condom in my pocket just there” he indicated but I just smiled before leaning in and reaching out to open the drawer of my bedside table. I took one out and I was just about to sit back up when he placed a hand on my back and held me down to him; his lips wrapping around one of my nipples.

I let out a moan and started rolling my hips down on his as it felt like his lips were shooting pleasure straight to my center.

“Fuck, baby” Ashton growled and he released the little bundle before grabbing the back of my head and crashing his lips to mine. “Come on, take me” he murmured and I sat up, struggling a bit to take my panties off before throwing them to the side and grabbing the elastic of his boxer and slowly sliding them down his legs as he kept caressing my arm.

I was fascinated by his erection; the way it stood hard and tall just for me; it was beautiful and so arousing. I took him in my hand and leaned in before pecking his very tip.

“No, please, Kat” he pleaded and I smiled before sitting up and opening the condom; I pinched the tip and rolled it down his length before looking up at him; he gave me a small nod, indicating that I had done it well before placing his hands the back of my thighs, just under my backside.

“Take it slow” he said as I placed his tip at my entrance and placed my palms on his chest. I very slowly sank down on him and my mouth fell open as I felt his shaft stretch my walls. It didn’t really hurt but I didn’t feel comfortable either; I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as I didn’t remember feeling that way the first time.

“Does it hurt?” Ashton asked and there was panic in his voice.

“Just huh… I just need a minute” I breathlessly let out and he immediately took my hands in his and pulled me toward him; my chest pressing against his as he started brushing his thumbs over my cheeks.

“It’s okay, baby; it’s normal just breathe in and out… We’ve got time” he reassured and I felt the urge to kiss him; I tried to imagine how much effort he was putting into making things right. I pressed my lips to his and kissed him until the feeling disappeared and I didn’t pull away as I slowly started to move my hips up and down; making sure I could feel him as deep as he could be before sitting up and then back down again.

“Oh my god, Ashton” I moaned as I felt a strong feeling building up in the pit of my stomach; I sat up and supported myself on his abs as I picked up my pace and threw my head back. One of his hands was on my hips and he trailed his other one up to my breasts; massaging them both with his huge hand as I leaned into his touch; my back arching as I tried to hold my orgasm in.

“I’m fucking close” Ashton let out as he started messily rubbing my clitoris, sending waves of pleasure through my veins. I was really close but I could feel my legs burning from the movements and I started slowing down; I didn’t know it could be so tiring.

“Ash I’m… Shit I’m so close but I’m tired” I confessed, hoping he’d understand what I meant. He didn’t answer but he sat up; his chest touching mine as he brought one arm around my waist and the other across my back and to my left shoulder. I stopped moving as he held me down and he started thrusting his hips up at a fast pace. We were face to face and his eyes were burning into mine; I was breathless and completely love-struck; it was intense and we both needed this so much.

“Come on; come for me, Kat” Ashton murmured and I leaned in before roughly crashing my lips to his; both my hands tangled in his hair as I held him as close as possible. He bit down on my bottom lip and he started giving rapid thrusts as I pressed my breasts against his chest and released around him.

My thighs tried to close on each side of his and my hips started shaking as my walls started pulsing around him. His muscular arms were holding me against him and I felt like I would’ve fallen to the bed if it wasn’t for his strong hold on me. My head was on his shoulder when I felt him still inside of me and spurt his come in of the condom. He let out small grunts each time his abs contracted against me and my name came out as a desperate cry right before he fell back on the bed; taking me with him.

I laid my head on his sweaty chest and closed my eyes as a smile appeared on my face. We stayed like that until our breathing came back to a normal rate and I searched his hand before lacing my fingers with his.

“I’ve missed you” I murmured against his skin; the hair on his chest tickling the tip of my nose as he kissed the top of my head. “Let’s never fight again, okay?” I lightly offered; lifting my head up to look at him; he was smiling down at me.

“Agreed” he answered; before placing a finger under my chin and forcing my head up; he pecked my lips and looked at me right in the eye before speaking again; “You have a wild side I can’t wait to discover” he smirked as I felt myself blush.

“You fascinate me; that’s all” I confessed.

“I fascinate you?” he asked; he seemed genuinely surprised by my statement.

“Yeah… You- I mean your… And then when I touch it…” I tried to explain but stopped as I realize I wasn’t making any sense.

“You’re fascinated by my penis?” he asked again; sitting up and taking me with him.

“It’s beautiful” I shrugged and he chuckled as I bit down on my lip.

“I didn’t know I needed to hear that until now” he answered and I let out a giggle before rolling over and lying on the other side of the bed. “Hey, where are you going?” he complained; before stretching his arms out and pulling me to him again so that my back was pressed against his front.

“Oh! How did it go tonight? I mean, with that guy?” I asked; suddenly remembering that a lot of things had happened before we entered this apartment, horny as ever.

“Adam Wilkinson; it went pretty well; I have to say! We’re going to go to the studio and write a few things and if we’re good enough he said he’d sign us a record deal” Ashton answered and I could hear a mix of excitement and pride in his voice.

“That’s amazing!” I exclaimed before turning my head to the side and kissing his lips with force; “I’m so proud of you; you’re definitely going to become a huge band; I can feel it” I added and he shook his head; his eyes falling to the bed as I saw him blush.

“I honestly doubt that but if we could just live from the music we make that’d already be pretty amazing” he answered and I rolled my eyes at how modest he was being.

“Well you just wait and see” I murmured before looking down at his arm on my waist. That’s when I noticed a small purple patch just above my right breast; I brought a finger to it and withdrew it as soon as I’d touched it; it did hurt a little. He had given me a hickey. I turned around in his arms and looked up at him before pointing to the love bite.

“What’s that?” I asked in a hard tone as I tried to keep a straight face. His eyes widened and his eyes went from my finger to my face and back to the mark again as he seemed lost and confused.

“A- A hickey?” He answered, hesitant and I kept my playing my role as I raised my eyebrows and felt him tense against me.

“You can’t do that! How dare you!” I exclaimed and panic flashed in his eyes as he slowly detached himself from me.

“I- Sorry I just thought… I mean you seemed to be enjoying it while I was giving it to you I just assumed… Oh my god I’m sorry” he started apologizing but I couldn’t keep it up any longer; I threw my head back and burst out laughing before wrapping my arms around him again.

“Just kidding; Irwin” I said as I watched his face relax.

“You’re the devil!” he sighed before pulling me to his body and attacking my face with sloppy kisses.

“I kinda like it” I confessed in-between two giggles and I felt his smile against my skin.

“Oh be careful what you say; you might find yourself covered in love bites in the morning” he laughed and I just held him closer as I felt happiness over flooding me. I felt asleep a few minutes later; securely lying in his arms.


	14. Fourteen.

I opened my eyes when the phone started buzzing for the third time; I couldn’t believe Ashton was still sleeping when I felt like a helicopter was taking off on my bedside table. I stretched my arm out and took the device in my hand; it was Ashton’s and the name on the screen read ‘mom’; it could be important.

I gently turned around on the bed; my boyfriend’s arm was resting on my waist and I circled mine around his torso; burying my head in his neck as I started leaving small kisses on the side of his Adam apple.

“Ash, your mom’s been calling you for the last twenty minutes” I murmured as I felt his grip tightened around me; indicating that he was slowly waking up. He took his phone out of my hand and opened one eye before pressing his thumb on the screen and bringing it to his ear.

“Hi, mom” he said in a sleepy voice; a small grin appearing on his face before his whole face turned into a panicked expression; “shit” he cursed, his eyes now widely opened. “Mum, I huh… Okay a lot happened last night and I completely forgot… Can you-” I could hear his mother’s voice through the phone but I couldn’t understand what she was saying; “no, no I don’t wanna let them down can you tell them that I didn’t hear my alarm and that I’ll pick them up in half an hour?” he bit down on his bottom lip as he waited for answer. “Thanks mum, you’re the best” he smiled before hanging up and putting his phone on the side of the bed.

He rolled us over; burying his head in the crook of my neck as I giggled; his hair was tickling my cheek.

“I was supposed to have breakfast with Lauren and Harry an hour ago” he groaned.

“Your siblings?” I asked, not remembering ever hearing those names before.

“Oh, yeah… I have to get ready; I promised them eggs, bacon and pancakes but I’ll barely have the time to get dressed and my apartment’s a mess right now, so it’s probably gonna be cereals and orange juice… I hate to disappoint them like that, they were so excited when I mentioned it” he confessed and I remembered him telling me that their dad left them when they were all really young and that he had tried to be the best big brother they could ever have since then.

“Do you… Maybe they could come here?” I offered and he stilled before lifting his head up so that he was looking at me in the eye; “I could try and cook something while you pick them up?” I added.

The tiniest knot had formed in my stomach as I spoke; as casual as I was trying to make that sound; I knew it meant meeting a part of his family, and that was something big, especially for me. I didn’t know whether we were ready to take that step; but it was also my way of telling him I wanted to move on from what had happened and try and make it work.

“You… You sure?” he asked; a small frown on his face and I didn’t know if it was because he was surprised I was offering that, or if it was because he thought that it was too soon.

“Yeah I mean… You don’t have to if you don’t want to… I mean, I’ll completely understand if you just wanna spend some time with them alone I just… I mean if I can help-” he cut me off by pressing his lips to mine and I immediately placed my hands on his shoulders and pushed him off of me.

“What?” he asked; his hands in the air and his eyes wide as he didn’t seem to understand why I’d just rejected him.

“Morning breath, Ashton! That’s just gross!” I answered as if it was the most evident thing in the world. If there was one thing I didn’t like, it was definitely morning breath, my own, or someone else’s; it didn’t matter.

“Seriously? Kat, we’ve been… Nevermind” he said before getting up from the bed and walking toward the bathroom; “wait!” he suddenly exclaimed before turning around to face me again. “Does that mean you’re going to reject me every morning?” he inquired and I tried not to get too distracted by his tones chest as I looked at him up and down.

“Well if you try to kiss me every morning, then yes!” I answered and he seemed lost for a slight second.

“How are we supposed to have morning sex, then?” he asked and I scrunched my nose up in disgust.

“No happening!” I assured and he opened his arms in protest but I shook my head and he let out a sigh before going to the bathroom.

“I’m using your toothbrush” he announced and I was about to protest but stopped myself as I realized I didn’t really mind, after all.

I was almost done with the pancakes when I heard three voices coming from the hallway. I was as nervous as could be; I knew I wasn’t meeting his mother yet, but it was obvious that Lauren and Harry were really important to him and I wanted them to like me.

“We’re here!” Ashton shouted just as they appeared in the doorway; “go say hello, I’ll be back in a minute” he said to them before walking toward my bedroom. I made my way over to where they stood and opened my arms to greet first Harry, then Lauren; they both seemed shy but I knew they didn’t hate me yet as they tried their best to smile at me.

“I’m Katy; it’s nice to meet you!” I said; and they both answered with their names.

“Ashton always talk about you and it’s annoying” Harry confidently let out and I was scared for a second but he winked at me before opening his mouth again; “I’m telling you that because he told me not to”. The three of us started laughing and I knew from that very moment that I was going to love this kid.

“He’s going to kill you” his sister told him and he shrugged before turning to me again.

“Also, please don’t kiss in front of me” he pleaded and I promised before letting out a giggle again.

I guided them toward the living room and told them to take a seat as I went back to the kitchen and put everything in four plates. I placed two in front of Harry and Lauren and saved the two others for me and Ashton. They seemed so happy to be here; I wanted to take them in my arms and hold them tight against me.

Ashton came back wearing a different shirt and I understood he must’ve picked up some clothes up from his mother’s house before coming back here. He smiled at me and placed a hand on the small of my back before leaning in; I stopped him just in time; placing my hand over his mouth to prevent his lips from touching mine.

“Your brother doesn’t wanna see that” I informed him before turning to Harry. He gave me a thumb up before looking up to his brother who had turned to him, too.

“She’s a lot cooler than you” he stated and I threw my head back in laughter at Ashton’s facial expression. He looked like a kid who had just been denied ice cream on a hot summer day.

“Oh my god; you’re gonna have to make me a schedule of when I can and can’t kiss you because this is going to be complicated for me to remember” he laughed before taking his fork and taking a bite of bacon.

The next few days went heavenly well; Ashton kept telling me that his brother and sister wanted to see me again; I had called Greg and we had sorted things out. He was really excited because he was going to meet his soulmate in a two weeks’ time and he felt like this was going to be a new beginning in his life.  Ashton and his bandmate were really close to signing that record deal and kept receiving amazing messages from fans in Sydney. I kept hanging out with Emma, Mary and Jon and the more we talked; the more it seemed like we had a lot in common.

I woke up with a smile on my face this Tuesday; I had college and I was just happy to go. I drove all the way there and took a seat, ready for my literature class; it was my favorite one.

“Katy, can I please talk to you for a second?” Mrs. Gilmer, my literature teacher, called just as I was about to walk out of the room. I frowned and turned around; walking to her desk before looking up at her with a smile.

“I don’t really know how to say that, because obviously I did something I should’ve never done and I have no idea how you are going to react” she said; her eyes on her hands on the table as she seemed really embarrassed.

She was a nice woman and I really liked her way of teaching; I had a lot of respect for her and she seemed to have a lot of respect for us, which I appreciated. I didn’t know what she could have possibly done that made her so uncomfortable and I felt like I had to help her somehow.

“Huh, I’m sure it’s fine, whatever it is” I tried to reassure before biting on my lip at how ridiculous I sounded.

One of the things I loved the most about college was that teachers talked to us as adults; we were equals and we could have proper discussions.

“I, huh… there’s one piece of writing you sent me one day that I really liked” she started and a smile appeared on my face.

She rarely made compliment about our writing; she asked us to send her everything we wrote, whether it was a two sentences thing or a whole novel, she wanted to read everything and every now and then she’d tell us what she liked and disliked about it so that we could improve. I sent her absolutely everything I wrote.

“I thought it was really well written and I felt so many emotions reading it… And so I don’t really know what came over me but I submitted it to huh… To a writing competition… I don’t know if you’ve ever heard about it; it’s the Glimmer Train’s short-story Award for New Writer?” she said and I shook my head because I had never heard about that before.

She seemed to hesitate for a second; she looked at me as if to see if I wanted to hear what was to come or not. And of course I did.

“You won… They chose your text as the best Short-story and, here it is…” she mumbled as she took something out of her back and handed me some papers; “you won 1,200$, you’re going to be published and they’re going to print 20 copies of it… Just, you know, just to have a physical copy of it” she finished and I was speechless.

My lips were parted and I wanted to jump in her arms; I couldn’t believe what she was telling me; I was so grateful she’d done that because god knows I would have never found the courage to submit my work to any contest. But thanks to her; I’d won and that was surely going to make me a lot more confident about my writing.

“Oh my god… I don’t know what to say!” I eventually replied, taking what she was handing me; “thank you so much! Thank you so so much, I just… Wow thank you!” I kept repeating and a warm smile appeared on her face; she looked like my mother when I’d just done something amazing and that made me want to hug her even more.

I walked back to my car, a ridiculous smile on my face, and placed my bag and the papers on the passenger seat. I took a minute to try and calm myself down and I realized I didn’t even know which text Mrs. Gilmer had submitted. I retrieved the paper and read the first one that explained that I had won and what it meant; the other sheets were my printed text and I impatiently turned the first page before reading the first sentence of my own text. The smile immediately faded from my face.

God no, not that one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN :I'm sorry it took so long; I was trying to fix things with chapter 13... But I hope you like that chapter anyway; thank you so much for reading ! xx


	15. Fifteen.

“I’m supposed to receive my price in two weeks… You know like give a little speech, shake hands and meet people” I murmured; my eyes fixed on my fingers as they were wrapped around my glass.

“Oh my god; I don’t even know how you’re going to get out of this situation!” Linda exclaimed and I let out a small chuckle before lifting my head to look at my two friends in front of me.

Linda; Greg and I were sat at a table; enjoying a drink as I decided to drop the bomb and tell them what had been bothering me for the last two days. I was hoping they were going to reassure me, tell me that it was going to be okay; that I should tell Ashton and that he’d understand. But all I got were wide-opened mouths and even wider eyes.

“Thanks for trying to help!” I said sarcastically and the three of us laughed as Greg took one of my hands in his.

“Are you going to tell him?” He asked; the sympathy in his voice was sickening and I felt like throwing up for a second.

“Yes… Of course, yes! He’ll find out anyway so I’d rather he finds out by me than by anyone else… I just… I don’t know… If it was the other way around; like if he’d written a song saying all those bad things about me; it’d hurt me so much.” I explained and tears sprung to my eyes as I imagined the look on his face as I’d tell him. Why did it have to happen now, just when things started to feel normal again?

“Hey it’s gonna be fine! Baby, you just gotta tell him the whole story, okay? Tell him exactly when you wrote that text, he knows you were mad so it won’t be nothing new to him and just tell him that’s not how you generally feel about him and that it was just an in-the-moment kind of feeling and just tell him you love him” Linda said with what I knew was supposed to be a light tone.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion and I looked at her with pure panic in my eyes as I once again pictured the scene in my head.

“I-I can’t do that” I replied, vigorously shaking my head as I looked at her with horror. She made a weird face and looked at me, confused as her lips parted, then closed again before she finally spoke.

“You… Don’t you love him?” she asked and it felt like she was judging me. I knew it was because Ashton was my soulmate. Linda and Greg both believed in it like some people believed in God. They were both absolutely convinced that their life would change once they’d meet their soulmates and maybe they were right; mine had changed in a way. But what was sure was that my life hadn’t become perfect all of a sudden; it became intense and full of events; that was for sure, but things were everything but perfect.

“I don’t know… But what’s sure is that if I do, and if I am to tell him; it won’t be like that; it won’t be just so he forgives me for something I’ve done!” I tried to explain as I withdrew my hand from Greg’s hold and looked at my friends with hope. I just wanted them to understand; I wanted to feel supported.

“That makes sense” Greg admitted and I let out a relieved sigh as I gave him a small smile. I had been so touchy lately; feeling like the whole world was against me; like people were making plans behind my back. All I wanted was for someone to understand how I was feeling without judging me. And I knew I could count on Linda and Greg when it came to that.

“Whenever you decide to talk to him; just know that if it doesn’t go too well; we’ll be ready to get drunk as fuck with you and just party the night away!” Linda exclaimed as the three of us got up to leave the place. I took them in my arms and thanked them before getting back to my apartment; a small smile on my face. I would never be alone.

I had been avoiding Ashton for six days when he showed up at my front door; beautiful and uninvited. My eyes grew wide for a nanosecond but I forced a big smile on my face to hide my nervousness.

“Hi!” I greeted as joyfully as possible as I let him in. He raised one eyebrow at me before walking past me and straight to the living room. He sat on the couch and placed his elbows on his knees before joining his hands and lacing his fingers together.

He was upset. He wasn’t too mad but he was irritated enough not to kiss me or even hug me. I bit down on my bottom lip as I tried to make up an excuse really quickly; I couldn’t just tell him, not now, not like that. I just wasn’t ready to face my actions yet.

“Hi? Seriously?” he asked; anger and pain evident in his voice as I sat across from him and let out a big sigh.

“Look… I’m sorry… I just-” I started but he didn’t let me finish as he sat back and just held his hands up.

“Okay but you gotta stop being sorry! You gotta stop being sorry and start talking to me because this is getting really old already!” he spat and I felt like I’d been slapped. I couldn’t blame him; I knew he was right and I knew I was the only one responsible for all of this; I just wished there was an easy way out; yet I knew there wasn’t.

“I know; I’m sorry” I weakly apologized and he seemed to relax for a second. He brought a hand up to his face and started rubbing his forehead; his eyes closed and his nostrils flaring as he breathed through them.

“What is going on? Why are you avoiding me?” he asked and his voice was much sweeter now. I looked up to the ceiling; searching for a sign; something to either help me out of this or give me strength but all I could see was a spotless expanse of white.

“I huh… I did something that you’re probably not going to like” I let out; my eyes were unable to look at him as I opened my mouth again; “the day there was the fight with Chris I… I was really mad at you when I got home and… I mean every time I feel something about someone or a situation I write about it. I just lay it all down and poor my heart out into writing my feelings down… But I mean you probably know what it is; it’s the same thing with songwriting, right?” I asked; looking up at him as he looked at me with a confused expression.

He nodded and I knew I shouldn’t have stopped. I should have just gotten straight to the point; it would have been done by now and I wouldn’t have to imagine the way he was going to react. I’d know.

“So I wrote a text that day when I came home and I was really mad at you; you know that; we worked it out but that piece was just coming straight from my anger and it was quite violent” I explained; and he didn’t react right away but when he did; his voice was really unsure.

“That’s it? That’s why you’ve been avoiding me for so long?” he asked; he sounded relieved and lost at the same time.

“No… No. I have a teacher who asks us to send her everything we write and so I did send her that piece, too… And she came to me the other day and explained that she thought it was good and that she had submitted it to a writing contest and … I won. I’ll receive some money and I’ll be published and they’re also going to print a few copies of it…” I finished my story and a lump formed in my throat as he diverted his eyes from me and fixed a point behind my head.

We didn’t speak for a few minutes; I was praying that he would say something, anything. Even if it was bad; even if he screamed at me; I just needed to get some reactions from him. But he didn’t say anything; he stayed still; he didn’t look at me; he didn’t open his mouth. It was like he was empty and I felt my heart contract in my chest as I brought my hands to my face.

“Ashton I… I was mad but I’m not anymore and I wish I’d never written that thing but I did and I wished my teacher hadn’t submitted it but she did… What I’m trying to say is… It’s not how I feel about you; it’s not… I really like you and I was just mad, it doesn’t mean anything; it doesn’t say anything about the way I feel about you, please try to understand.” I begged and it seemed like he got back to himself really slowly.

“Can I read it?” he asked and my heart stopped as the awful words appeared in my mind again. I wanted to say no; I wanted to shake my head and just tell him that it wasn’t a good idea but I knew I had to show him; I owed it to him.

“Yeah… Huh, hold on” I said before going to my room and retrieving the papers on which my work was printed. I stayed here for a few minutes. I couldn’t move; I couldn’t go back to Ashton and hand him the papers that were going to hurt him so much. I wanted to disappear; jump through my window and never face a mirror ever again. I let out a deep breath and went back to the living room before placing the text on the coffee table in front of Ashton.

He slowly took it into his hands and started reading through it. A knot had form in the pit of my stomach and I closed my eyes tightly, not wanting to see the look on his face. I wanted this moment to be over.

“It’s fine, Kat. I understand, I’m an artist, too, I know what you mean. Sometimes we get caught up in our emotions and it’s hard to see past them” he said very calmly after what felt like forever and I parted my lips in surprise.

“You’re not mad?” I asked; my voice a whisper as I could barely believe what was happening.

“Nope” he answered with a smile before getting up; taking my hands in his and forcing me up to engulf me in a warm hug.

“Oh my god I was so scared!” I murmured as I hold onto him really tight and buried my face into the crook of his neck. “I’m probably pushing it but I’m receiving the price in a few days and it would mean a lot if you came with me” I said; my lips against his covered chest as I inhaled his sense.

“Of course” he simply answered before pecking my lips; “I gotta go; studio time” he said as his left eye felt into a wink. I gave him my most genuine smile and watched as his muscular figure left my apartment. I placed a hand on my heart and let out a long breath before jumping up and down in joy. It had gone so well; I couldn’t even believe it.

Ashton’s POV

The smile left my lips as soon as I was out of her sigh. I felt like throwing up. A lump had formed in my throat and tears of anger were teasing the corner of my eyes as I got into my car and started driving away. I couldn’t believe she could write such hateful words toward me; I would have never said those kinds of things about her, ever… No matter how mad at her I was.

I parked in front of Calum’s house and pressed my forehead against the steering wheel. For a second; a slight second; while we were making love on her bed, right after we’d laid things out about Chris; I thought we were going to be okay. I thought she was opening up to me a little; I thought we were only going to grow as a couple from that moment on and I caught myself dreaming about a future with her. I wasn’t so sure anymore; I wasn’t sure about anything. I didn’t know where we were going; I didn’t know what she wanted… And the worst part was I wasn’t sure what I wanted anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN :I hope this didn’t suck and I hope you liked it!! Please tell me what you thought! Thank you so much for reading, voting and commenting, it means a lot ! Love you xx


	16. Sixteen.

My dress was on; my hair was curled to perfection and Lynda was applying the last bit of make up as I kept texting Greg. We were both freaking out; him because he was about to meet his soulmate; and me because I was going to receive a prize for my writing; which I didn’t think would ever happen. 

 

“I’m so done with you guys!” Lynda complained as I started moving around in excitement. I was thankful for her presence; my hands had been shaking for the past three days and if it wasn’t for her doing my hair and makeup; I would have probably looked like a raccoon.

 

She was wearing a grey playsuit and black high heels that made her stand at least 3 inches above me. I, on the other hand, was wearing a navy blue dress that stopped at the middle of my thighs; I chose to wear flats as I knew my legs would be trembling and I wouldn’t be able to stand with any heels on. 

 

“Should he wear a white or black shirt?” I asked Lynda as a new text appeared in the middle of my phone screen. 

 

“Are you being serious right now? Who cares she’s going to love him anyway!” she answered and I rolled my eyes as I typed my answer. 

 

White, you’ll look hotter xx

 

“Maybe it’ll be a boy, you know” I said as I looked at myself in the mirror and turned around to face her. 

 

“I know; I think it’ll be cute either way; he’ll be a good boyfriend” she replied with a smile before handing me a tiny purse that could barely contain my phone.  
I placed the strap over my shoulder and Lynda took my hand before leading me to the front door and taking my car keys. 

 

“You ready?” she asked and I shook my head as panic started to flood my mind again. I had to make a speech in front of people I didn’t know and that was the one thing on earth I disliked the most. “Good!” she exclaimed; ignoring my answer as she dragged me out of my apartment and sat me in the passenger side of my own car. She’d wisely decided that it’d best if she was the one driving and I couldn’t fight her on that; I would have probably caused an accident if she’d put me behind the wheel.

 

We arrived in front of a small building and both got out of the car before making our way to the front door. I had a folder in my hand that contained my ID; my text; the mails they’d sent me and my speech. I wanted this to be perfect and I’d made sure there wasn’t going to be any unplanned disturbance. 

 

“Ashton’s joining us here?” Lynda asked as I handed my card to what seemed to be a security guard. His eyes traveled from the picture to my face before settling on the card again; he gave me a quick nod and we both entered the building holding our heads up high. 

 

“Yeah; I gave him the address last time I saw him… Which was like a week ago; he’s been so busy lately!” I replied before following the signs that read ‘Award Ceremony’. 

 

We had four seats on the very front row; I was in-between Ashton and Lynda and Greg was right next to her. This was going to be perfect. My phone buzzed in my purse and I excitedly checked the text that Greg had just sent. 

 

I’ll be here in a minute 

 

Okay, we’re front row xx

 

I hadn’t heard about Ashton all day and decided to send him a message to know where he was and when he was going to be here. 

 

Where are you, baby? I’m so nervous! Xx

 

I then put my phone back in my purse and started chatting with Lynda to try and calm myself down. Greg arrived ten minutes later; he was wearing a suit and I’d never seen him look that good in my whole life. He looked so clean; so mature and so hot at the same time I almost didn’t recognize him. 

 

“You look so good!” I complimented and he gave me his biggest smile as he took me in his arm.

 

“It’s a double special occasion so you gotta look twice as good; you know?” he winked as I chuckled; he seemed so excited I couldn’t help but feel really happy for him. 

 

Ashton still hadn’t answered my text when the ceremony started; I tried to listen to what the man on the stage was saying but my eyes kept traveling from him to the door and a knot formed in my stomach as I started to wonder if Ashton would make it on time to hear my speech, which was mainly about him. 

 

I started tapping my foot on the ground as the master of ceremonies started to announce the winners. He started with the third place and a young man stood up to come and accept his prize. Second came a very small woman who seemed to be around 60; I’d never seen someone smile so much in my entire life and I couldn’t help but feel really happy for her; it seemed like the achievement of her life and her happiness was truly infectious. 

 

“And now please welcome, the winner of this year’s Glimmer Train’s short-story Award for New Writer, Katy Barnes!” He announced and everybody started clapping as Linda gave my hand a tight squeeze. I got up and hugged my two friends before glancing at the door one last time and walking up to the stage. 

 

It was too late, now. He wouldn’t hear my speech and it didn’t make sense for me to say what I had prepared if he wasn’t here. I took the little trophy that the master of ceremonies was handing me and shook his hand before taking a step toward the microphone.

 

“Okay, well. I never thought I’d ever find myself in that situation so I’m sorry if this is a bit awkward but huh… I’d like to thank my teacher, Mrs. Gilmer, who took the decision to send my work to the academy and without whom I’d never had find the courage to do it. She couldn’t be here today but I hope she gets to see this. Thank you to my two friends who are here today and who are the only support I’ll ever need. And finally, thank you to whoever decided that my piece was worth this award.” I said and the whole room started to clap again as I cautiously went down the three steps and sat with my friends again. 

 

I knew it was a pretty basic speech; but I didn’t know what else to say. If Ashton had been here; I would have explained the whole story; I would have said something about ephemeral feelings; I would have spoken about how fine the line between love and hate could be and how hard it could be to make out on which side of it we were. And I would have concluded by saying that it was okay to be wrong; and that not being able to make the distinction had led me to win an award. 

 

Lynda hugged me again but I was unable to return her smile as I checked my phone again. The screen was blank and it made me want to throw up.

 

Are you even coming?

 

I pressed ‘send’ as I swallowed the lump in my throat. I turned to Greg and saw that he was nervously chewing on his bottom lip. 

 

“How long?” I asked him as I took his hand in mind and turned it toward the ceiling so that his timer was on display. 

 

’18 min 21 s’ it said and that take me back to the day I met Ashton. I could remember just how much the feeling of the unknown could be overwhelming.

 

The rest of the ceremony was a huge buffet and everyone stood up to start and talk to each other. I wasn’t really hungry, though and I just talked with Lynda and Greg as she started biting into a piece of pizza. I tried my best to smile and act like the happiest girl in the room each time someone came to congratulate me and shake my hand but my bottom lip started quivering and I had to excuse myself at some point. 

 

I walked into an empty hallway and nervously dialed Ashton’s number, finding it weird that I still hadn’t heard from him. It rang for a few second and I was almost sure I was going to have to leave a message when he suddenly picked up. 

 

“Yeah?” he said. He sounded calm and detached and a single tear escaped my eyes as it was evident that he wasn’t on his way here.

 

“Did you forget?” I weakly asked; not bothering to introduce myself or even precise what I was talking about. He had to know; he had to have it in the back of his mind somewhere. 

 

“Yeah” he simply answered and I knew it was a lie. He’d be panicked if he had just forgotten about it. He’d be apologizing and putting on a jacket to meet me as soon as possible. 

 

“No, you didn’t” I pointed out and I heard a big sigh coming from the other end of the line as I leaned against the nearest wall. 

 

“I couldn’t come. I’m sorry, Katy; but I just couldn’t come and watch you receive a prize for a text that described just how powerfully you hate me” he answered and I could tell that it was something he had decided a long time ago. He never intended to come.

 

“But I explained it to you! Why didn’t you tell me you wouldn’t be here?” I cried and I felt so vulnerable. He had the power to destroy me just then and there and all I could do was hope that he wasn’t going to.

 

“Yeah you tried to explain but honestly the words you used were too strong for me to believe it was just an in-the-moment kind of burst. You don’t like me Katy; I don’t know if it’s because you so strongly believe that the soul mate thing is complete bullshit or if it’s just me but you don’t like me like that” he said and I could hear pain his voice.

 

“Are you being serious, right now? Yes, I do! I do like you like that, Ashton! I know I have trouble expressing my feelings and I know you need me to show it but I like you! I mean, I trusted you with my past; I gave you my virginity… It meant something! I know it’s not enough but I swear I’m working on it!” I protested and he took his time to reply.

 

“But that’s the thing… If you really liked me you wouldn’t have to try that hard… It would just be natural. Thing is I really like you, Katy and I can’t do this. It just hurt too much, I’m sorry. I don’t have the patience.” He finished and I felt the air leave my lungs.

 

“What does that mean? No this can’t be happening! Ashton I swear I can-”  
“Please, don’t… I just can’t! I’m sorry” he let out before hanging up on me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don’t hate me! As always, thank you so much for reading! Love you xx


	17. Seventeen.

I held my phone against my heart before sliding down against the wall until I was seating on the floor. My lips were parted and tears were escaping my eyes even though I wasn’t blinking. I felt like a hand was wrapped around my heart and clutching it; it hurt. I wanted to scream. I wanted to wake up. I placed my head in my hands and started sobbing like a little kid; the kind of sobs you can’t stop even when your dad is ordering you to calm down.   
“Katy?” I heard a voice call and I lifted my teary eyes to look at Linda as she hurriedly made her way to me. She crouched down next to me and immediately wrapped her arms around me without asking any questions.   
I sobbed into her shoulder as she soothed my back in an attempt to calm me down. I felt like a part of my heart had been ripped off my chest and thrown into the ocean; and even though it wasn’t in me anymore, I could feel it drowning.  
“He-He broke up… He broke up with me” I managed to let out against her skin; she seemed to tense for a moment and she then pulled away, holding me at arm length as she looked into my eyes.  
“He’s a jerk and please trust me when I say he’s going to regret it and come crawling back in no time” she affirmed with force and I tried to nod but truth was I didn’t believe it. He seemed so cold over the phone… and I then realized that he’d been that way ever since I had handed him the papers that had my writing printed on.   
The door of the doorway opened and we both turned our heads toward it as we saw Greg’s head appear. His eyes widened as he took in the scene that was playing in front of him; he rapidly walked to us and sat down next to us before taking my hand in his and giving Katy a questioning look.  
“He broke with her” she murmured and my friend’s eyes widened as he turned his head to me and took me in his arms.  
“You’re gonna be okay, baby” he whispered and I let out another couple of tears before biting down on my bottom lip to stop my sobs.  
Greg pulled away and started looking around us; his eyes traveling from the door to my face, then to the other side of the hallway and my face again.  
“Someone’s going to walk in any minute” he informed us and I frowned as I tried to understand what he meant.  
“How would you know?” I asked and he held his wrist in front of my eyes.   
’00 min 7s’ it read and I suddenly sat up and wiped my damp cheeks with my hands. This moment had to be about him and him only. I wasn’t going to stole it from him. I would probably have a lifetime to cry it out, anyway.  
We all waited in silence and time seemed to slow down. It felt like the three of us had stopped breathing; we were just waiting for something, anything. Steps, a voice, the noise of a door. We were absolutely still and our three hearts were beating way too fast.   
Greg’s head suddenly snapped toward me and he parted his lips as his wide eyes starred directly into mine. I frowned and then did the same as my eyes fell on his timer; that was it. I looked at him again and I was about to say something when he crashed his lips onto mine.   
My eyes stayed opened as he seemed to be giving his all. I couldn’t believe it. This couldn’t be happening, my soulmate was Ashton and I couldn’t have two. I had never heard of someone being two people’s soulmate either. I knew weird and unfortunate things could happen, but that had to be a mistake  
I placed my hands on his shoulders and pushed him with all my strength before covering my mouth with my hands. We looked at each other for a minute and I decided to get up as I couldn’t handle this silence anymore.  
“No, I’m not… This can’t be happening” I mumbled and Greg got up, too, before gently placing a hand on my hip.  
“But it is” he sweetly answered and I shook my head before stepping away from him. I closed my eyes and placed a hand on my forehead as I tried to think of what I could possibly tell him.  
“I’m sorry I need to get out of here” I murmured before turning around and running toward the door.   
I raced through the building and into the parking lot before taking the keys out of my purse and opening the door. I immediately started the engine and made my way on the road; I knew exactly where I was going.   
I hadn’t felt anything. Blank. It was just his lips on mine and nothing more. No sparks, no tenderness, no need to put my hands on his skin, not want to part my lips and let him slip his tongue in my mouth. God no. None of that.  
I felt those things with Ashton. Each time. I even felt things I couldn’t even try to describe. From the very first kiss to the one he decided would be our last; I had felt all those things and I couldn’t imagine not ever feeling them again. I didn’t care how long it would take; I had to fight for him. He was my soulmate, after all.  
I parked in front of Ashton’s building and started knocking really hard on the door; I didn’t stop. I was nervous but I knew I was doing exactly what I had to do. My hands stopped hitting the door when he finally decided to open it. He seemed annoyed for a second, and then confusion flashed through his eyes and finally pure panic.  
“Are you okay?” he asked and I pushed past him as I let myself in.

Ashton’s POV :  
“Wait, wait” Calum interrupted as he kept pacing in front of me; “so you’re telling me… She writes a nasty piece about you; she wins an award for it; she feels bad and tells you so that you don’t have to learn about it in the newspaper. Then you’re mad but don’t tell her so she thinks you guys are okay; she invites you to the ceremony and you stand her up. She calls you and tells you she has feelings for you but you don’t believe her and break up with her. Then she discovers she’s her best friend’s soulmate, the one she’s known for years and the one she already thrusts without condition, yet she comes straight to your place and explains everything to you, tells you that he kissed her but it didn’t feel right at all. She basically begs you to take her back because she KNOWS you’re the one for her even though you’ve already made a bunch of big mistakes since you’ve started dating… And you? You open your front door and wait for her to leave as you tell her that it doesn’t change anything… Like mate, I’m sorry I have to ask but do you even have any type of feelings for her?”  
“Of course I do! You know that!” I answered; annoyed that he would ask that even though I’d told him so many times before.  
“What is your problem, then?” he retorted as he opened his arms in an attempt to get a reaction out of me. “Because right now it feels like she could get down on one knee and ask you to marry her and you’d just be like ‘no, honey, I know you don’t really like me that way, sorry’ … What kind of proof are you fucking waiting for?” he said, raising his voice as I stared into paces.  
His words started to echo in my mind; and realization hit me. He was right. He was absolutely right and I was just being a selfish asshole at the moment. I wanted nothing more than to be with her; and what she’d done for me that day proved that she felt the same.   
I was just trying to control the situation. I felt like I had no control over myself when I was with her and I was trying to regain it in the worst possible way. I wanted to slap myself. Her teary eyes were haunting the back of my mind and I couldn’t believe I had pushed it that far.  
“Calum, I’m an idiot” I suddenly let out as I looked up at him with wide eyes.   
“That you are” he confirmed as I got to my feet and started searching for my jacket.  
“I have to make it better” I mumbled as I took two long strides toward the front door and left Calum’s house.  
“Good luck with that” I heard him shout.


	18. Chapter Eighteen.

Ashton's POV :

I made my way over to her apartment as quickly as possible; driving over the speed limit for most of the ride as I tried to think about what I was going to tell her. I knew honesty was the only card I could play; but I wasn’t sure that telling her that I was just after seeing her desperate for me was going to make things better between the two of us.

A huge knot formed in my stomach as I got nearer and nearer and I started to slow down; I had no idea how I was going to do it; and I was so afraid of what she would tell me. Deep down I knew I deserved her to spit at me; but I was hoping that she’d just roll her eyes, shake her head and then let me take her in my arms. Yeah, a boy can dream.

I parked in front of her building and stopped the engine before taking a long breath. I ran my hands through my hair and closed my eyes for a second. I couldn’t even get my thoughts together. I grabbed the door handle and very cautiously opened it before stepping out of the vehicle.

I buried my fingers in my jean pockets and walked to the door before stopping in front of it. Maybe I should have called; first. I hesitated for a few seconds before lifting my right hand and knocking on the heavy door. My heart was beating fast as I waited for it to open; but it didn’t.

I hadn’t imagined, even for a second that she wouldn’t be there. I knocked again; a bit louder this time and waited again, but nothing happened. I then hesitantly placed my hand on the handle and pulled it down to discover that the door wasn’t locked.

I frowned before taking a step inside; I know I should have announced myself but my mouth was dry and the lump in my throat seemed to be growing bigger as I took another step and closed the door behind me. I could hear faint voices coming from her bedroom and I tried to listen to what was being said but they weren’t loud enough. I then heard steps getting louder and I froze as I waited for her to appear; I wasn’t ready for that.

My eyes widened as I saw Lynda walk through the living room; her eyes were on her phone and she didn’t see me right away. I was so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn’t even consider the fact that it could be someone else. She lifted her head and her eyes hardened as soon as they met my face. She stopped whatever she was doing and gave me a death glare as she opened her mouth to speak.

“What are you doing here?” she asked and it was clear that she didn’t want me here. She was probably here to try and comfort Katy and she was angry at me for breaking her best friend’s heart. I was angry at myself, too.

She gave me a questioning look as I opened my mouth but no sound came out of it. I just didn’t know how to justify myself. It was so weird to me; so new. I was never speechless; I could always get out of touchy situations by telling a pretty story; or just by saying the right thing. But the things that came through my mind didn’t sound right at all; this time.

“Look if you’re here because you feel bad about what you did and you want her back; then let me tell you, you better fucking mean it and you better spend the rest of your life not only telling her but SHOWING her how much she fucking means to you. Now if you’re not here for that then just leave now because I really want to punch you in the face right now and I think it’s just a matter of seconds.” She announced and her voice was like ice. I didn’t know she could be like that. I couldn’t blame her either. “I’m a lot tougher than I seem” she added as I still didn’t react.

“I’m here to apologize” I let out before swallowing loudly.

She looked at me for a solid second; holding my gaze; challenging me.

“If you’re just here to apologize then it’s not enough… Ashton if you’re not ready to get on your knees and beg for forgiveness then I’m not going to let you near her again.” She answered and she seemed to soften a little.

“I will, I will!” I immediately answered and I would have been ashamed of how pathetic I sounded in any other situation but I couldn’t care less, to be honest. “Is she that mad?” I then asked as I crossed my arms over my torso and tried to regain composure.

“No… She’ll probably fall into your arms as soon as you’re going to say you’re sorry and that’s why I’m warning you. This is the last time you do some shit like that” she answered and a small smile appeared on my face. It felt like a weight was being lifted from my shoulders and I could finally breathe again.

“I get it. Trust me” I replied as I smiled at her but she shook her head as if to tell me we still weren’t friends.

“I don’t think you do. I’ve known that girl for as long as I can remember and one of the most annoying things about her was that she used to make fun of me whenever I talked about my soulmate… How excited I was to meet him or her; how perfect we would be together… She used to roll her eyes and change the subject because she just wasn’t interested. It’s always been bullshit to her; all of that. She always claimed that her timer wouldn’t dictate who she would love. She said that one day she’d fall in love and that nothing would be able to tell her it was right or not. She said it’d be good and magical; she said it’d happen once and that everything would change from that moment on.

“I don’t think you have any idea how important what she did was. I don’t know if you realize that she could be with her best friend right now! Do you know how easy it’d be for her? He’s the one-”

“I know!” I interrupted as I didn’t want to hear that a second time. “I know and I’m sorry I didn’t realize that right away but that’s why I’m here. I’m sorry; okay? I mean it; I’m so fucking sorry and I just can’t lose her!” I half-yelled.

“Okay” she answered as he nodded at me; “go ahead, then… You know where she is… I’ll leave you two alone” she added before turning around and walking toward the kitchen.

I let out a long breath before wiping my palms on my jeans. They were sweaty. I slowly walked toward her room and stopped in the doorway. She didn’t hear me coming; and neither did she hear our conversation. She was just seating on the ground next to her window.

She was mindlessly looking out and her eyes were red and puffy. It felt as if someone had pinched my heart as I saw pain written all over her face. That was me; I caused it and it was hard to handle.

“Katy?” I breathlessly let out and she seemed to snap out of her reverie as she looked up at me and widened her eyes.

She hurriedly got up and pulled on her clothes as if she was trying to smooth them down.

“Ashton?” she asked and I could hear the tears in her voice. I dig my nails into my palm as I tried not to hit myself square in the face. She shouldn’t be crying in front of me. I promised myself it would be the last time.

“I-” I started but I still didn’t know how to say it. I closed my eyes for a second before looking at her again; “I’m sorry. I know this isn’t enough and I know I screwed up big time but there’s nothing else I can say… There just isn’t a good explanation for why I pushed you away earlier I just… I’m just an asshole and I was hurt by that piece you wrote and I thought it gave me the right to act like a jerk. I- I just… I don’t want things to stop between the two of us; ever. And I just don’t really know how to handle these feelings; it’s all new to me; I know it’s new to you, too and I should be the one reassuring you and I swear I will be from now on… I don’t want things to stop between us, please!” I begged and tears had started running down her cheeks again in the middle of my speech.

“Please just tell me you mean it” she whispered as she looked up at the sky.

“I do! I do mean it; please just believe me this once and I’ll never give you a reason to doubt me or my feelings ever again, I swear!” I insisted and she closed her eyes before drying her tears with the paws of her sweater.

She took a hesitant step toward me and I could see in her eyes that she was scared I was going to take one back. I reached out and grabbed her hips before pulling her to me. She immediately wrapped her arms around my waist and placed her head on my chest before starting sobbing again. I wanted her to stop; it felt like someone was wringing my heart.

“Please forget about that piece, it didn’t mean anything; I didn’t mean it” she said and I held her closer as I started playing with her hair.

“Don’t think for a second that you have to apologize again; you’ve done that enough it’s my turn now. That’s in the past now” I answered and she lifted her hand to her face to dry her tears again before looking up at me.

“Can you stay tonight?” she asked and I held her gaze as I opened my mouth to answer.

“Yes”

“Good” she said before placing her head on my chest again.

We stayed like that for a while; just holding each other; without moving; without speaking.

“I was so scared you were going to push me away.” I confessed; “I was literally ready to get on my knees and crawl until you’d finally forgive me” I said with a chuckle and I heard her let out a small laugh.

“Be careful what you say I can still change my mind” she informed me and I giggled as she looked at me and grabbed the back of my head.

She got on her tiptoes and placed her lips over mine; I immediately responded to the kiss and pressed her body into mine as I moved my lips over her swollen and soft ones.

“You do lock your door when you’re alone, right?” I suddenly asked against her lips and she pulled away before looking at me with a questioning look.

“Are you serious?” she asked and I could tell she was amused. I knew I had just ruined a really romantic moment but I just needed to know. “Yeah, most of the time” she answered as she saw that I was still waiting for an answer.

“Good” I answered before taking her chin in-between my thumb and forefinger and sealing her lips to mine again.

“I have a question, too” she murmured without pulling away and I smiled widely as I detached my lips from hers.

“I’m all ears” I replied as she placed her hands on my hips and looked up at me.

“I don’t know if you remember but one of the first times you met Greg; we had a small fight because you were being mean to him and you told me that you had a bad feeling about him… Was it a real feeling; like something concrete that you could feel in you… Or was it just really a weird kind of weird jealousy?” she asked and I frowned at her words.

“’A weird kind of jealousy?’” I repeated amused and she flashed me a grin; “no… I mean yeah there was a bit of that but it wasn’t that. I acted like a jerk that night-it seems like it is becoming a habit of mine- but I really did have a feeling” I tried to explain and she bit down on her bottom lip as she nodded at me.

“Do you think it had anything to do with what happened today?” she said and I shrugged as I went to seat on the bed and took her with me.

“I have no idea” I answered as I wrapped my arms around her and lied down. “How is that even possible?” I asked and I wasn’t talking to anyone in particular. It was just so insane.

“I don’t know… Well I mean they always tell us about weird cases; people who’s timer reach ‘0’ only to start again after they’ve met their first soulmate… People who come into this world without a timer… I guess that’s just another exception… A very unfortunate one” she said and I started caressing her arm as I thought about what could have happened that day. I literally could have lost her to her best friend. “I feel so bad for him” she added and I couldn’t help but agree with her.

As much as I didn’t like him; I couldn’t ignore the fact that I had what he wanted; and hopefully, that would never change.


	19. Nineteen.

I decided two things the following week. The first one was that I wanted Ashton to meet my family; my mom was throwing what she liked to call a ‘barbecue party’ and I thought it was the perfect occasion to bring a new member to the family.

I also decided that Greg and I needed to have a discussion. I didn’t know why but I felt like I owed him an explanation. He was my best friend, after all; he deserved to know exactly how I felt, and I had to be honest with him even though I knew it would hurt him.

I sent him a text and asked him to meet me at the milkshake bar, near my apartment. I was nervous and I hated it; it had never been that way and I didn’t want things to become awkward between us. I could only hope that our friendship was stronger than what we were going through.

I arrived early and ordered my favorite drink before seating at a small table and nervously waiting for him to come in. He did, eventually and my heart started pounding in my chest as he looked around the place and met my eyes.

“Hey” he greeted as I got up and gave him a quick hug; it wasn’t the kind of hugs we usually shared but it was better than nothing.

“Hey, how are you?” I asked as he sat in front of me and placed his hands on the table.

“Well I don’t really know, honestly… That came in as a shock for the both of us, you know?” he explained and I nodded as I placed my hands around my milkshake and took a deep breath.

“I know... About that, huh… Okay I really don’t know if there’s a good way to say it so I’m just… Well, I’ll just say it.” I started before closing my eyes for a second and looking at him again; he was waiting for me to speak. “I don’t feel about you the way I feel about Ashton. I’m really sorry and trust me when I say there’s a huge part of me that wishes I could change the way I feel.” I said and he leaned against his chair and rubbed his hands on his thighs as he looked down.

“Okay; I just don’t really understand… Because if you don’t believe in soul mates then why would you want to be with him and not me?” he asked and it felt like he was accusing me of something.

“I can’t really explain it; it’s strange for me, too… And you know, I didn’t believe in it before but when it happened I really felt something that I had never felt before and I would be lying if I said that I didn’t change my mind about it…” I clarified and he started shaking his head before placing his index finger in front of his lips.

“This is so fucked up” he murmured and I nodded as I just had to agree with him. “So what now? We stay friends?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

“I really hope so, but you tell me” I answered and he let out a big sigh before looking at me with a sympathetic look.

“I… I think I’m going to need some time… Katy, I feel about you the way you feel about Ashton and I’m going to need a bit of time to accept the fact that we are not going to be together; I hope you understand.” He said before getting up and leaving the place.

I let out a long sigh as I covered my face with my hands. It did hurt to have to say those things and watch his eyes fill with pain. I suddenly felt a presence in front of me and I lifted my head up to see that he had come back.

“Just so you know, I think you’ll regret choosing him over me” he let out before turning around once more.

That last sentence left me speechless; my lips were parted but I didn’t stop him as he walked out and disappeared. He was my best friend and what he thought would always matter but he clearly wasn’t impartial when it came to this.

I took my time while finishing my milkshake and went back home with the feeling that things weren’t settled yet.

Greg’s POV :

I stormed out of the place and walked quickly to a little alley I knew would be empty. I leaned against the wall and breathed through my nostrils as I kept hearing Katy’s words in my head.

_I don’t feel about you the way I feel about Ashton._

_I didn’t believe in it before but when it happened I really felt something_

I couldn’t believe my best friend was doing that to me. I just couldn’t. She was choosing that boy who didn’t have any ambition except playing the drums in a shitty band over her best friend who’d helped her go through terrible things. It was just too much.

I took my phone out of my pocket along with the little piece of paper I had teared from my notebook earlier on. I read the number I had written on it and dialed it; biting on my bottom lip as I nervously waited for someone to pick up.

“Hello?” a deep voice answered and I considered hanging up for a moment.

“Hello, yes this is Greg, Katy’s friend… If we could meet up, there’s something I’d love to discuss with you” I said and he gave me a location and a time without further questioning.

I didn’t know if I was doing the right thing but I knew I was doing the only thing I could do to survive.

Katy’s POV :

“I talked to Greg yesterday” I announced while Ashton and I were in the car to my mother’s house.

“Oh really?” he asked and I knew he was trying hard not to panic.

I smiled to myself as it suddenly hit me that I wasn’t the only one trying to make this relationship work. I knew Ashton didn’t like Greg and he didn’t say it but I knew he was worried about the current situation. It was the way he would slightly tense up each time I’d mention him; it was the way he’d let me talk about him, listen to me and then make sure he was the only on in my mind once the conversation was over.

“Yeah, I wanted to have a discussion with him, tell him how I felt and huh he basically told me that he needed to distance himself for a while” I explained as I looked at Ashton. He didn’t move his eyes from the road but I knew that he was carefully listening to what I was saying.

“How do you feel about that?” he asked and I started chuckling at how detached he was acting.

“You have the right to say you’re happy about that” I told him as I playfully punched his shoulder and he finally cracked a smile as a small dimple appeared on his cheek.

“Okay, yes, I’m happy but this isn’t about me, is it?” he said as he bit down on his bottom lip.

“You still have the right to express your happiness because your soul mate chose you instead of her best friend” I replied and he shook his head as he tried hard not to laugh.

“I’ll express my happiness once I’m sure your family likes me” he quietly let out and I thought for a second that I didn’t hear him right.

“You’re nervous?” I asked as my eyes widened. I hadn’t even considered that possibility.

“Why do you sound so surprised?”

“It’s gonna be the next on the right” I indicated as I pointed to my mom’s house; “because it’s the first time I see you nervous; I thought it couldn’t happen” I answered and he shrugged as he turned to the right and parked in front of the house.

“Well I am very nervous right now” he said before getting out of the car. I waited for him to join me and laced my fingers with his; he kept walking toward the house but I tugged on his hand and made him stop before wrapping my arms around his torso.

“Hey! There’s really no need to be scared! Like, literally my mother will be so excited she’ll probably spend more time talking to you than to me; my dad will be hanging on your every words each time you’ll talk about your band and my brother will try to develop a plan with you to try and embarrass me in front of everyone!” I reassured and the amazing thing was I didn’t even have to lie to him; this was just the truth.

“Oh, okay; well put like that, it actually sounds fun” he said as he leaned in a pecked my lips.

“Huh huh, I swear to god if you even try something with my brother, you’re not getting any for an entire month” I threatened and he smirked and raised an eyebrow at me.

“Oh really? I’d love to see you try and resists me for an entire month” he answered before gently grabbing the back of my neck and pressing his lips down on mine. His other hand went to rest on the small of my back and he pressed my body against his as he deepened the kiss and let his tongue wander across my lips. He pulled away and placed a small kiss on my neck before bringing his lips to my ear. “And maybe if it all goes well we could celebrate tonight” he murmured before taking a step back and walking toward my mother’s house; leaving me panting behind him.


	20. Twenty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING : This chapter contains really explicit content, please don't read if you're underage or if you don't feel comfortable with it.

"Heyy! You're here!" My mom greeted as soon as she saw us; she took me in her arms and gave me a long hug before turning to Ashton to do the same. I saw him smile and close his eyes as she rubbed his back before pulling away and guiding us toward the backyard where everyone was.  
I immediately spotted my brother and almost ran to him before wrapping my arms around him; it felt like I hadn't seen him in ages and I had missed him more than I thought I would. He lifted me up from the ground and started spinning me around as I closed my eyes and laughed. It was good to be back home.  
"How are you, loser?" he asked as he finally put me down and held me at arm length to look at me from head to toe.  
"I'm good!" I answered before taking Ashton's hand in mine and pulling him toward me; "Huh, Evan, this is Ashton, and Ashton, this is Evan, my big brother" I announced and they both extended their arms before shaking each other's hand.  
"Nice to meet you, man; I thought I'd never see that day" my brother joked and Ashton laughed as I rolled my eyes; "I'll make sure to have a seat next to yours at the table; there's a few things I'd like to discuss with you" he added with a wink.  
"Yeah, no, no way!" I replied before dragging Ashton behind me as I walked toward the rest of my family and started to introduce him to everyone.  
The barbecue was amazing, as always. My mom always chose the best skewers; and the sun shined all afternoon, as well. I placed my head on Ashton's shoulder after desert and closed my eyes as I enjoyed the warm feeling on my skin.  
"It was delicious" he murmured as he placed a light kiss on my cheek.  
"Yeah, it really was" I agreed before wrapping my arms around his waist. He smelt good and even though I knew he did; I had never truly taken the time to enjoy it before. "You ready to go?" I asked and he squeezed my waist before nodding and taking my hand in his.  
We said goodbye to all of my family and both my parents told Ashton how happy they were that I found someone like him, which was funny because technically I didn't really find him but I kept my mouth shut as a big smile made its way on my boyfriend's face.   
My brother walked us to the car and opened the door for me; which was unusual enough for me to frown and look at him with suspicious eyes. I placed one foot in the car and stopped dead in my track as a strong smell suddenly filled my nostrils.  
"Oh no, you didn't!" I exclaimed as I stood up and stepped out of the car. I looked at my brother and he had one of his hands in front of his mouth as he tried hard not to laugh. But I knew him better than that.   
My lips formed an 'o' as I looked inside the car and saw the source of the nasty smell on the backseat. It was so gross. I suddenly heard a stifled giggle behind me and my eyes widened as I turned to Ashton to see him unable to control his laughter.  
"Are you serious?" I half-yelled and he giggled some more as I turned back to my brother and slapped his arm.  
"Oh my god, you should have seen your face the second you recognized the smell... I wish I had had my phone in my hand to snap a quick picture!" he laughed and I crossed my arms over my chest as I suppressed a smile and kept acting angry.  
"And you! Why would you put a huge piece of cheese that smells worse than a dead body in the backseat of your own car?" I asked Ashton and he bent down and placed his hands on his knees as he tried to recover his normal breathing before answering.  
"Evan told me you would hate it and make a funny face and oh my I have to say I'm not disappointed" he answered in-between laughter and I shook my head before letting myself laugh with them.  
"Okay, okay well we all laughed now get that thing out and take me home, will you?" I said after a while and he nodded with the biggest smile on his face before getting rid of the smelly cheese my brother loved to put in his mouth.  
The car ride home was filled with laughter and mindless talk as Ashton drove us both to my apartment. We'd both agreed that he should spend the night here and the only thing bothering him was that he didn't have a toothbrush at my place, yet.  
I placed my purse on the couch and got rid of my jacket as soon as I walked in and I felt Ashton wrap an arm around my waist as he pulled me against him. He looked at me for a second before leaning in and pressing his lips to mine, making sure I wouldn't go anywhere as he placed one of his hands behind my neck.  
"Now about that celebration" he murmured and I could feel his smirk against my lips.   
I pulled away, just enough to get a better look at him as I prepared my answer.  
"Huh huh, I think I warned you Ashton, no celebration for you, not today, not in a week... You'll have to wait for another 30 days, baby" I cheekily replied before pushing myself away from him and slowly walking toward my bedroom.  
He had me pressed against the corridor wall before I could make it to my bedroom door; his lips on my neck as he forced both my hands against the wall. I bit on my bottom lip as a moan threatened to leave my lips; I didn't know that seeing Ashton like that would turn me on but I felt a fire start to grow in my body as he sucked and nibbled on my skin.  
"And I think I told you, you wouldn't be able to resist" he cockily answered as he lifted his head up and looked at me dead in the eyes. They were a lot darker than usual and a small smirk appeared on his face as he took in my parted lips and reddening cheeks.  
He very slowly inched his face closer to mine until his lips were ghosting over mine; he waited a few seconds and although my mind was telling me to turn my head to the side, I found myself unable to move a finger and he crashed his lips on mine, kissing me as passionately as he could.  
"That's what I thought" he murmured as he trailed his lips down to my neck again and started sucking on the exact same spot; licking at the sensitive skin as I tried to move my hands but he was strongly keeping them captive by my side and I just couldn't move.  
I decided that if he was right and that I couldn't really resist him; I could still try and show some kind of control by not responding to his touch... Or at least, not verbally.   
I swallowed and bit down on the inside of my cheeks as he let his lips run down my neck and collarbone to stop just above my top. His hands left my wrists and I made a point of not tangling my fingers in his hair as he looked up and placed his lips by my ear.  
"Did you know that that top was see-through?" he murmured before biting on my earlobe; "it's been driving me crazy all afternoon" he added before looking up at me. I was struggling not to let out a bunch of whimpers and he must've noticed because the right corner of his mouth lifted up in a half smile as he cocked an eyebrow at me.  
He wrapped an arm around my back before taking a step back so that I wasn't leaning against the wall anymore. I became very aware of my trembling legs as he let go of me and grabbed the hem of my top before pulling it over my head and letting it fall to the floor.   
He leaned in and pressed his lips down on the skin of my cleavage before sliding a finger inside my bra cup and yanking it down, so that my right breast wasn't covered anymore. He kissed around my nipple, making me squirm in anticipation; and he then gently wrapped his lips around the bundle, flattening his tongue against it as it hardened in the wet cavern of his mouth.  
I threw my head back in pleasure and closed my eyes tightly as I had to bit harder on my bottom lip in order to suppress my moans. Ashton cupped my left breast with his large hand and I thought I was going to lose it as I felt his palm press against my nipple. He looked up at me after a few seconds and his eyes darkened some more as he saw me in this state.  
"Oh... So this is how it's going to be?" he asked and I didn't really know how to answer his question as he stood straight up again and pressed his chest hard against my partially uncovered one.   
He kissed me and wrapped an arm around my back as he guided me toward my own bedroom; opening and closing the door behind him as I held onto him tightly. His shirt was off his torso in a second and he made me lie on the bed as he hovered over me and looked at me deep in the eyes.  
"I swear to god I don't really care what I have to do, I wanna hear you scream tonight, baby... And you're going to scream" he assured before sliding his hands behind my back and unclasping my bra; he dragged the straps down my arms at a very slow pace and I attempted to put my hands on his shoulder and pull him toward me but he stopped me by holding my wrists above my head.   
He started looking around the room; and he suddenly extended his arms toward the little armchair in the corner of the room before taking the robe that was laying on it and taking the belt out of the loops.   
"And a girl who refuses to let her man know how good he's making her feel doesn't deserve to touch either; no matter how pretty she is" he said before carefully tying the robe belt around my wrist and to the headboard.   
Ashton's eyes searched mine and although they were wide with surprise and lust, he couldn't see any sign of reluctance in them. His teeth closed on his bottom lip as he straddled my hips and looked at me for a second.  
He brushed the back of his hands down my sides before getting up and slowly getting rid of his jeans; his eyes on mine as I carefully watched him. He then came back on the bed and wrapped his arms around my body; placing his palms fat on my lower back before pressing his lips just above my bellybutton.   
He trailed kisses down my stomach then traced a line just above my jeans with his lips before looking up at me as he undid the button with one hand. I was squirming under him and it was becoming harder and harder to hold my moans in.   
I raised my hips from the mattress and he slid my jeans down my legs, leaving me in a pair of white lace panties before leaning in and holding himself up on his forearms on each side of my head.  
"I'm going to drive you crazy" he murmured against my ear before trailing kisses down my neck; chest and stomach.   
He parted my legs and settled himself in-between my thighs before wrapping both his arms around them; holding me in place as he very slowly grabbed my panties with two fingers and slid them down my legs. He then looked up at me and placed his lips just above my clitoris; blowing warm air on it as my eyes widened.   
I knew this would happen eventually but I never thought it would turn me on that much. He wrapped his lips around my most sensitive bundle of nerves and my back immediately arched from the bed as a foreign and powerful feeling took over my body.   
I wasn't playing anymore; but I was speechless. My lips were parted as Ashton started kitten licking my clitoris; hitting the perfect angle as jolts of pleasure kept shaking me. I tried to reach for his head; I needed to tangle my fingers in his hair; I needed to hold onto him. But I couldn't as my restrains forced my hands up above my head.   
"Ashton, Ashton! Oh my god!" I let out as he trailed his tongue down to my entrance, then up again and started sucking on my clitoris.  
"There you go" he teased and the vibration of his voice made me tug on my restrains again and arch my back from the bed. He brought a hand to my lower stomach and held me down as I felt a tight knot staring to form in the pit of my stomach.  
"Please, I need to... I need to... Oh god!" I moaned out as I threw my head back and closed my eyes tightly. I was close and I wasn't sure my body was able to handle what was to come.  
"Shh, shh, just feel it, baby" he sweetly murmured and stars started to appear behind my closed eyelids as he brought one of his hands to my entrance and gently eased a finger in me.   
He started moving it while his tongue kept licking my clitoris and that was more than I could handle. I let out a long moan before calling his name as the knot in the pit of my stomach exploded and overran my whole body.  
"Shit, Ashton!" I finally screamed before lying back down on the bed as the aftershock of my orgasm slowly died in me.   
He pulled away after a few second and placed his head just above mine as he intently looked at me; he had a small smile on his face and his eyes held more desire than I had ever seen in my entire life. He leaned in and gently pressed his lips to mine; I immediately responded and hungrily kissed him back as I once again tugged on the restrains.   
"Please, just untie me" I begged against his lips and I felt him smirk as he pulled away and looked up at my hands.  
"You have no idea how much I love hearing you beg" he said before reaching up and finally freeing my wrists.   
I immediately placed a hand behind his neck and pulled his lips to mine; forcing my tongue past his lips as I suddenly felt his hips on mine and his covered erection on my lower stomach. I lifted my hips from the bed and started rolling them against him; I wanted this man; I wanted him naked; I wanted him rough; and I wanted him now.  
"Can I have you now? Please?" he breathed out against my lips and I let my left hand wander down his chest before sliding my fingers under the elastic of his boxer. I placed my palm on his shaft and wrapped my hand around it before pumping his entire length a few times.  
"Can I reciprocate?" I timidly asked and he pulled away as he bit down on his bottom lip and pressed his forehead against mine.  
"Please, just let me have you" he immediately answered and it was almost a plea.   
I nodded and took the elastic of his boxer in-between my thumb and forefinger and slid them down his muscular legs; he helped me get them off of him before reaching for his jeans and getting a condom out of his back pocket.   
He ripped the foil packet opened with his teeth before pinching the tip of the condom and rolling it down his length. He placed his tip at my entrance and held himself up on his forearms before kissing my lips and slowly inching himself up in me.   
"Oh my god" I let out as soon as I felt his erection brush against my insides.  
"Are you okay?" Ashton asked as he searched my eyes for answers.   
"Yeah, this is... This is... Oh god" I moaned out before moving my hips against Ashton's still ones.   
I didn't know if it was my previous orgasm or just how turned on I was; but I felt like I was a lot more sensitive than ever before. I couldn't help but dig my nails into Ashton's back as he started moving in and out of me. I kept moving my hips against his; I needed more; I knew he was holding back but I wanted all of him.  
"Come on, Ashton, give it to me" I murmured and I heard his breath getting caught in his throat as the intensity of his thrusts started to increase.   
His skin was soon slapping against mine and my back was arched from the bed as I raked my nails down his the skin of his back.  
"Fucking hell" he grunted as I felt my walls clench repeatedly around him. I just couldn't help it; I was too sensitive and it felt like I wasn't controlling anything anymore.  
"Shit, Ashton!" I moaned and I knew I was close again. I also knew I wouldn't be able to do anything about it.  
"Yes, baby" he groaned as he gave a particularly harsh thrust that made me throw my head back in pleasure; "let go" he ordered and I just couldn't stop the orgasm that triggered my whole body as Ashton placed his head in my neck and gently bit down on my shoulder.   
"Ashton" I breathlessly let out as my toes curled and the last wave of pleasure struck me.  
"Yes. Yes. Yes!" Ashton groaned as he gave two more sharp thrusts and stilled inside of me. He released in the condom and let my name leave his lips.  
He pulled out after a few seconds and threw the condom away before lying on his back and pulling me to him. I was slightly out of breath and I could feel his chest heaving up and down under me.  
"That was fucking amazing" he let out and I giggled as I felt my cheek heat up at his comment.  
"Yes, it was" I confirmed as I lifted my head up and placed a chaste kiss to his jaw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN : did you guys like this chapter? Hope it wasn't too boring! Thank you so much for reading! xx


	21. Twenty one.

Weeks passed and things started to get really busy for everyone. Ashton and his band eventually signed their record deal and he was spending his entire days in studio, writing and recording with his friends. I, on the other hand, had taken a decision that was keeping me busy during all of my free time.  
I received an e-mail a few days after the publication of my work; it was from someone who had read it and who wanted to congratulate me. She said that she could relate to what I wrote and that she thought I was really talented. She was going on and on and she made me tear up before I reached the end of her message.  
I talked to my friends about it and one thing leading to another; Emma came up with the idea of creating a blog on which I would post a few of the things I wrote. I took my time to think about it; and I was now dealing with the last details before taking the plunge.  
It felt good to be busy, to know that everyone around me was just happy with their lives and was doing exactly what they wanted to be doing. I was also very surprised to discover that 5 Seconds Of Summer, Ashton's band, already had a fair amount of fans. They were performing a few shows every now and then and, being the drummer's girlfriend, I was required to attend each and every one of them. The venues were always crowded with girls who knew every words to their songs and nothing made me happier than to see Luke's, Calum's, Michael's and Ashton's face light up each time they heard them sing the words back.  
I sat down in front of my computer and started writing as a feeling of sadness started to appear in the deepest part of my heart. I still hadn't heard anything from Greg and I was starting to think that I would never see him again. What really bothered me, though, was that he wasn't talking to Linda either anymore... And I couldn't help but feel responsible for it all.   
My phone started ringing on my desk and I finished typing my answer before taking it in my hand and answering the call without checking the name on the screen.  
"Yes?" I answered as I stuck my phone in-between my cheek and shoulder and kept writing on my computer.  
"Hi, huh this is Greg" and deep voice said and I immediately grabbed my phone again as I parted my lips in surprise.  
"Oh Greg! It's so good to hear from you, how are you?" I excitedly said.  
"I'm good, thank you! Do you think we could... Maybe meet up one of these days?" he offered and I closed my eyes as a huge smile appeared on my face.   
"Of course! Whenever you want"   
"Okay well what would you say about the day after tomorrow, maybe for lunch at that little restaurant near your college?" he said and I agreed before hanging up and getting up to dance my excitement away.  
I called Linda and then Ashton, to tell them about it and they both said they were really happy for me even though it sounded a lot more sincere on my friend's part than on my boyfriend's.  
Emma had invited me over that afternoon and I arrived at her place with a huge grin on my face; I told her about the news and she gave me a big hug before asking if I wanted anything to eat. I was there to talk about my blog; ever since the project became serious; she had been my associate, helping me through each step; giving me her opinion on every decision I made and I was very thankful for it because what we eventually came up with was something I really loved and was already really proud of.  
"I'm so nervous, you know?" I told her as we both sat on her couch in front of my laptop.  
"It's natural but there's really no need to be!" she replied before going through the things I wanted to show her; we were outing the last details about the layouts.  
"But what if literally nobody reads or likes it? I'm just going to make a full of myself"  
"You're only putting out there what you've been doing for years! It doesn't really matter whether people like it or not... But if you think about it; you've won an award for your writing already so chances are this is actually going to work" she answered without diverting her eyes from the screen; "like that seems about perfect, no?" she added as she pointed her finger toward my laptop.  
We went through all of the things that were still unfinished and decided that the best would be to start it all in a week; so that if we were forgetting anything, I would have the time to deal with it before putting it out.   
I went home pretty late that night and immediately drifted off to sleep.  
I applied the last touch of makeup and grabbed my purse before getting out of my apartment and into my car. I drove to college and parked at my usual place before walking to the small restaurant I sometimes had lunch at. Greg was waiting for me at a table and even though it'd only been a few weeks since we'd seen each other, he looked like he was 10 years older.  
"Oh my god, look at you! You look like a grown man" was the first thing I said as he got up and gave me a hug.  
We chatted away for a few minutes until he cleared his throat and leaned back into his seat.   
"I actually have something to tell you, Katy" he announced and I sweetly smiled at him as he lifted his hand from the table; looked behind me and asked for someone to come with his fingers.   
I was waiting for him to say something when a shadow appeared on my side and I lifted my head to see the one person I did not expect to see.   
"Chris?" I managed to let out as he smiled at me and sat next to Greg in front of me.  
"Hi, hun!" he greeted and I felt like throwing up.  
"What the hell is going on, Greg?" I asked, making a point of not looking at my ex-boyfriend.  
"Come on, relax! I got to know him better these past few weeks and he's actually a really nice guy" he replied as a smile I didn't recognize made its way on his lips.  
"Beside, we actually have something to tell you so you might want to listen to us" Chris added and I felt my heart start to race as I looked at him and waited for him to continue.  
"Okay, I'm listening" I shakily said as my gaze went from one boy to the other.  
"Greg and I actually have something in common: we both have nothing left to lose" Chris began and I interrupted him as I just couldn't sit there and say nothing.  
"That's not true! Greg, you've always been a really happy guy!" I protested.  
"That's not the point. I spent the first 18 years of my life waiting for that fucking timer to reach '0' only to discover that my soul mate, who was also my best friend just didn't want me" he answered and he was too calm for my liking.  
"And you led me on and let me believe that something could actually happen with someone even if she wasn't my soul mate." Chris explained and I wanted to protest again but something about his tone and the look they were both giving me told me otherwise.  
"Okay... So?" I weakly asked.  
"We're just humans, we have nothing left to lose, we want revenge" Greg said and my breath got hitched in my throat.  
"Are you going to kill me?" I bluntly asked and they both started to laugh as they shook their heads.  
"No!" Chris said; "where would be the fun in that! We want you to feel the way we do... You know... Lonely" he explained and it was my turn to shake my head.  
"I'm not going to leave Ashton" I stated.  
"No, he's going to leave you" Chris responded and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. My mouth was dry and a lump had formed in my throat.  
"He won't do that" I shakily answered and a smirk appeared on his face as he cocked his head to the side.  
"We're going to make sure he will; and you're going to help us" he answered as I felt the blood leave my face.  
"Why would I do that?" I asked and it was barely a whisper.  
I suddenly remembered Greg was here, too, as he leaned down; opened his bag and took a few pieces of papers out of it. He laid them down in front of me and a hand flew to my mouth. In front of me were two large photographs of Mona, my sister in law, sleeping on the first one and pulling her top over her head on the second.   
"Where did you get that?" I asked my tone a lot more aggressive this time.  
"We took them" Chris simply answered.  
"We just wanted to show you how easily we got into your brother's house; and how easily we could hurt the person that makes him happy" Chris explained and he seemed really happy with himself.  
I couldn't speak anymore; all I could do was look at my best friend and try to search for his eyes. I couldn't believe he was doing that and I couldn't believe I was in that situation. I could feel fear and anger rise in my stomach and I knew it wouldn't be long before I would have to run to the restroom to throw up.  
"So, now that we understand each other a little better; here's how it's going to be" Greg started; "we're going to take it step by step so that you can actually feel your own love story slowly die... We'll tell you exactly what you'll be doing; by texts, most of the time so be careful where you put your phone. We won't be very patient either; so when we ask you to meet us somewhere it would be quiet cool if you didn't make us wait hours, you know? Of course you don't tell anyone, otherwise your lovely brother will have to buy a black suit really soon... Any questions?"  
I shook my head and my head started spinning as I vaguely heard the two men say their goodbyes, stand up and leave the place. I was sweating and trembling and I couldn't really see around me anymore. The image of my brother standing in a cemetery with puffy eyes came haunting my mind and I placed my head in my hands as tears started to roll down my cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN : WHAT DID YOU GUYS THINK I'M SO NERVOUS!!xx


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